Types of Irritating Things

Right. Following up with my mindbogglingly useless classification of all things funny, I present here my irritatingly incomplete list of types of irritating things. Of course, Irritants are a subjective lot, so feel free to disagree with and get irritated by my pointed refusal to enter myself, in whole, as part of the list (Tempting as it seems, especially to show off my self deprecating sense of humour, and my proud humility).

Breakdowns in the Law of Causality
Patently unfair is when life decides to play around with the rules of the game mid-way through. The normal linkage is Cause--> Effect. E.g: Hard Work-->Success
The irritating linkage is Slimy Weasel-like Rascal buttering up the boss--> Winning the promotion.
Even this has some semblance of reason to it. At least, the weasel had the skill and the cunning to deserve success.
The really irritating linkage is Dumb Moron finds lottery ticket in rubbish -->Wins lottery
or some such.

Subjectiveness
I ask someone about something: "Is this the right thing to do, what do think?"
Fools will advise me confidently "Yes" or "No" . Fair enough.
Wise men will say, "It depends....on many things", "Its contextual, and subjective".
Right, I didn't know that, thanks. Remind me to ask you again when I have made up my mind.

Mindless Optimism
This should actually be at the very top of the list. People who are in the direst of straits, but will persist in deluding themselves that things are somehow hunkydory. Or even worse, people who will say randomly positive things like "Smile. It's free and uses hundreds of less muscles than a frown". Right, so does a clenched fist and a well-directed punch. You may say, what's wrong with optimism? Much better to go through whatever life you have with a smile on your face and a song in your heart than mooch around, bringing everybody down. I say, no, it's not better at all. I'd rather you mooched around, and were a grumpy old git. So that I could piss you off even more by saying things like "Smile. It's free and uses hundreds of less muscles than a frown".

Heroism
This is a rather strange one, at first sight. Heroes are good, you'll say. They help save the world from bad guys. They help old ladies cross the street and even save kittens trapped in perilously short trees.
But heroism in general is a very irritating philosophy. What right have you to selflessly and for no good reason that anyone can think of, go and risk your life to save other people's (or kitten's) lives? It completely messes up the calcutations for Total World Domination of all good, honest supervillains. Its just not fair.