Linear time ?

"I do not believe in linear time. There is no past and future. All is one and existence in temporal sense is illusionary" - Calvin

How true can it be? Maybe, after all time isn't linear, and we just perceive it to be so. It might be on some other weird kind of scale, and we presume it to be linear because everyone presumes it, and everyone presumes it, because everyone else presumes it, and everyone else presumes it because it was the assumption upon which everyone made assumptions about things and built all those theories about it.

Einstein once said "Put your hand on a hot stove and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That is relativity". Maybe, there is something in this which defies the linearity assumption about time !

Anyway, how would the life be if we suddenly realized that time is actually on a logarithmic scale, or there is an imaginary component to time, say telling someone (10 + 3j) minutes are left for the party!!!

A Free comment

A Sandinista official allegedly said about a Nicaraguan opposition newspaper in 1984: "They accused us of suppressing freedom of expression. This was a lie and we could not let them publish it."

A History of Surfdom

Surfdom is the socio-economic status of labourers under globalisation, and specifically relates to capitalism. It was a condition of bondage or modified slavery seen primarily during the Information Ages in Emerging Economies. Surfdom was the enforced labour of ‘surfs’ on the information fields of employers, in return for protection, ESOPs and the right to work on their leased lines.

Surfdom involved work not only on IT fields, but various other information-related work, like finance, banking (both investment and consumer), medicine and even in production. Corporations formed the basic unit of society during this period, and both the boss and his surfs were bound legally, economically and socially. Surfs were labourers who were bound to the terminal; they formed the lowest social class of the information society. Surfs were also defined as people in whose labour bosses held property rights. Globalization in Emerging Economies evolved from imperialist slavery of late Colonial Empires and spread through Asia and other developing parts of the world around the late 20th century; it flourished in these economies during the Boom Ages but lasted until the 21th century.

After the Internet Wave, surfdom became increasingly rare in most of Western Europe but was strong in the Central and Eastern Europe and Asia (this phenomenon was known as "later surfdom"). In India, it lasted legally up to the 2100s and in China until 2189. The Entrepreneurial Boom broke the established social order to some degree and weakened surfdom. In Eastern Europe the institution persisted until the mid-21th century. In Finland, Norway and Sweden surfdom was not established, and did not exist. Surfdom, according to Scott Adam's related work in 'cubicle-ism', can be applied to New Russia and East Europe, Brasilia, ancient Americana, South East Asia (Vietnam to Korea), Post Liberalization India, China (Zhou dynasty and end of Mao dynasty), and all such ‘cubicle’ based economies. According to some historians, surfdom could also be thought to be a ‘spaceless’ phenomenon, which occurred to a large extent via cyberspace, through such nebulous means as telecommuting, where the ‘boss’ was nameless, but serfdom existed nonetheless is a pseudo-libertarian form, where the cubicle existed as a metaphor for economic dependence on suatained mediocrity. Although surfdom existed in all these regions it was not uniform throughout them.

Etymology

The word "surf" originated from the Middle French "serf", and can be traced farther back to the Latin servus, meaning "slave". In Late Antiquity and most of the Middle Ages, what we now call surfs were usually designated in Latin as coloni (sing. colonus). As slavery gradually disappeared and the legal status of these servi became nearly identical to that of coloni, the term changed meaning into our modern concept of "serf", pertaining to agricultural labourer and later, to ‘surf’, as applicable to workers in the information economy. This meaning fell out of use by the 2200s, but the current meaning was first conceptionalized, though not formally stated as such, in 1984.

The system of surfdom

In New Economy Asia almost all corporate assets were owned publicly, listed in developed financial exchanges. The shareholders consisted of the nobility (large single investors) , the mutual funds and private equity. Surfs were allowed to work in certain cubicles in exchange for a percentage of the product they produced (“incentive”). While most surfs were programmers, some surfs were professionals in different verticals, such as finance, banking, pharmaceuticals, etc. Corporations consisted of a head office, where the CEO, President, or Thought Leader lived, and a boardroom consisting of elders (directors). Surfs worked in offshore branch offices, in ‘cubicles’. These cubicles were actually synthetic huts made from wooden beams, plastic and glass. Windows were rare and a hole was left in the roof to allow smoke from firewalls to escape. Whole teams worked in a single room in open cubicles, leaving little privacy. Usually a small water cooler was the "heart" of this primitive society and acted as both a place for gossip and often transformed into the centre of entertainment for the villagers (or 'surfers') . "The essential characteristic of an information society was the near-total subordination of the surfs to the economic authority and jurisdiction of the management. Programmers were surfs - but most were not technically slaves"(Backman, 164).

The lives of surfs were very strenuous. The boss needed to maintain his authority in order to maintain the social structure. The HR guy was the bedrock of cubicle life and all members of the community were dependent on him for their corporate values instruction, renumeration and obligations. The HR guy could “proclaim [a surf’s duties], more for the society than for the management; such total servitude is indeed useful to everyone”(Frantzen/Moffat, 60). Bosses and HR guys who were able to insist that the surf’s role was indeed essential and important to the survival of the community, and could communicate such importance via animated slide presentations, often perpetuated this system.

The surf's employment contract

The surfs had an empoyment contract much in the same fashion as a boss or HR guy. A surf's employment contract was that, in return for economic protection, he would reside upon and work in cublicle under the jurisdiction of his boss, and under the ownership of his corporation.

The period rationale was that a surf "worked for all", while a boss or leader "thought for all" and a shareholder "bought for all." Thus everyone had his place. The surf worked harder than all others, and was the worst fed, but at least he had his place and, unlike in slavery, there was a degree of reciprocity in the employment contract.

A corporate lord (majority stockholder) could not sell his surfs as a Roman might sell his slaves. On the other hand, if he chose to dispose of a corporate arm, the surf or surfs associated with that arm went with it to serve their new lord. Further, a surf could not abandon his cubicle without permission, nor could he ‘own’ his own time while there.

If this piece seems remarkable similar to "A History of Serfdom" (Reference http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serfdom) - its because it is.

Case of too many cases

Overdose of anything is bad, they say. Sadly, this has been my case in recent days and am sharing this case here. The case in the point is that my recent examinations had all papers which were case studybased, barring one subject.

B-schools have often been lauded for case based pedagogy. Personally I find this as a better way of learning (and often with lots of scope to "GLOBE" in the paper). But in my case, I have been recently bugged with too many cases.

With respect to this case, my case has been that I am tempted to apply Sunny Deol's famous "Tareeq pe Taareeq" (from movie Damini) to these 'cases'. Here it goes -

"Case pe case, case pe case, aakir kab tak solve karenge case hi case ...
Case pe case milte rahe lekin marks nahi.
Case dene waalon ne sirf case diye lekin solutions nahi.
Yahan ke profs ne case ko ek hathiyar ki tarah istemaal kiya hai.
Case solve karte huey dimaag ki waat lag gayee ... Aur hua kya ... aakhir mila ek case.
Case dene waale khud hi ek din ban jaayenge case, aur phir bhi milega sirf ek case.
Aakhir kab tak chalega ye case ..."

- Nee-Case Rathi

President - Loyal to ____ ?

The race to the Rashtrapati Bhavan will soon be over and we will have a new occupant there. Probably, never before the race has been murkier. Earlier we had names of many party loyalists are doing rounds; most of them loyalists of the ruling party at the centre which has advantage of numbers. We had names of veterans like Karan Singh, Sushil Shinde, Pranab Mukherjee, Somnath Chaterjee, Shivraj Patil (who doesn’t seem to have had any substantial achievements, or stature, or qualifications... except probably loyalty to the dynasty!) of the ruling party and the current VP, Mr. Bhairon Singh shekhawat doing rounds (who, of course is contesting).

Finally we had some unknown person called Mrs. Pratibha Patil who became a candidate ... probably with no other substantial achievement (barring loyalty to the dynasty... and I won't call things like opening a women's hostel as an achievement, though it was listed as one!), and a seemingly 'tainted' past. But ultimately it all boils down to party politics, and nation takes a backseat. People do not support a candidate, or refrain from voting not because of the candidate, but because the candidate is backed by a party with which it is not on talking terms. And then there are politicians who are bringing in the regional connection or caste connection in choosing the president.

There were names of NR Narayan Murthy (though he was never interested in the post), and second term for Dr. Kalam springing up which was almost 'unanimously' shot down... except a so-called attempt by so-called third front. Probably they would not like to see someone who refuses to be a mere rubber stamp.

These issues have been highlighted in media, and most of the people may have similar views. But it is quite likely that this issue springs up because current incumbent at the Rastrapati Bhavan has been quite unbiased and neutral and has been liked be many for his role at the top, and believed by many to be one of the best presidents since independence. Earlier also we had presidents who were from a political background. First few took part in freedom struggle. But all from Dr. Rajendra Prasad to Mr. K.R.Narayanan, barring Dr. Zakir Hussain were politicians and all belonged to Congress, which has ruled India for most of the time since independence. So the party in power putting its own person as the president is not a new thing. President being completely neutral is desirable, but is a very rare phenomenon. After all who would like to lose driver’s seat in national politics? Probably this is what realpolitik is all about.

Extraordinary Mortals

My first reaction when I hear for the first time about some person, in his early thirties, billionaire,being in the Forbes list of 400 richest people in the world is always "Oh Well, I guess his family must have a centuries old rich business/kingdom/treasure".
Only when I learn more, learn that some people are truly "self-made", that I begin to question my assumptions of life. So far life has always been something that "happened to me". But now, I look around, and see men and women, who make it happen.

Self made Billionaire at 32 .
That's right. Read more about the Ding Lei story here: http://www.chinatoday.com.cn/English/2004/44.htm

Another interesting read is the life story of Kia Joorabchian. Born in Iran, fled as a boy with family to Britain to escape persecution from Ayatollah Khomeini. University Drop-out. Car dealer. Hedge Fund Manager, then owner, then seller (for $50m odd!). Has British and Canadian passports, with different birthdates. Currently operating as Shady Football Agent and Sports Agency Owner. Stake in Corinthians Football Club in Brasil and controversial ownership of 2 of Argentina's star players. Has Arrest Warrant in his name issued by Interpol for charges of money laundering. Suspected links with Boris Berezovsky....
Pretty colorful a life for a thirty-something, no?
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4158/is_20060902/ai_n16711409


Boris Berezovsky's story is also, not surprisingly, a jolly interesting read - Ph.D, publisher of books, papers in journals - a bonafide academic. Then comes the rise in business to one of the richest men in the world....Continued involvement in politics...Ukraine, Chechnya and Russia, Public enmity with Putin...etc etc.
A life less ordinary.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boris_Berezovsky


You may not always agree with these people and the things they stand for (some of the things done might be pretty villainous!), but you can certainly not ignore them.
An Apple commercial says it perfectly:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oAB83Z1ydE

And I wonder : Will we make something happen?

Whims and fancies ... and decisions

“It is as chaotic at the top” – NR

_______________________

Often, as a person aspiring to reach at the top, we believe that the persons at the top (or even at a higher level in organizational hierarchy) are completely rational in their decision making, influenced by nothing but objective facts and ground realities. We believe that he cannot ignore various factors, various stakeholders and various consequences in decision making. (Dilbert fans may not believe it though!)However, seemingly ‘fundoo’ human is ultimately a victim this internal chaos and lack of clarity and the decision he takes, which may not even be good is often which is hailed as excellent because of his ‘fundoo’ brand image.

Usually the decision making at the top level are often affected by personal biases, which are usually partly uninformed ones and whims and fancies of the persons at the top, and these are factors what influence the decision more than any facts and figures. It is more about what they ‘feel’ should be done, rather than what they ‘think’ should be done. These are much more relevant in cases where stakes are relatively higher, and usually increase with level of responsibility. For example managing the nation, which depends a lot about what the politician feels is right, and not necessarily what benefits the people. Or often in mythologies we have heard rishis and munis and even god(s)getting angry (probably due to ego hassles!) and unleashing destruction without thinking of consequences.

What does the junta ‘feel’ about it?

WTF………..Now babies lie too

Babies learn to lie before they talk

Look at the baby below ……….



Can you ever imagine in your wildest dream that behind this angelic face is hiding a James Frey (a notorious liar)?? Well I knew it….We generally presume that it’s the grown-up lot which is the master of all lies. Students lie about their school performance, Guys/Gals secretly have multiple affairs, parents lie to each-other on plethora of issues. But we typically ignore this lot called “sweet little infants” who actually learn to deceive before they talk. In a more refined language "they are engaging in subtle manipulations of their own and others’ actions, which succeed in deceiving others at least temporarily."

What!!!!!!! You don’t quiet believe me?? Now see this …
There was the 11-month-old who, caught in the act of reaching for the forbidden soil of a house plant, quickly turned his outstretched hand into a wave, his mother reported, "as though he was saying, 'Oh, I wasn’t really going to touch the soil, mom, I was waving at you.'"
And if you thought seeing a baby crying is too heart-breaking. A reality check is Fake crying is the trick babies learn to get attention. In one case the mother thought it sounded 'put on', but watched from a crack in the door, and noticed that there were pauses in the crying which seemed rather like waiting to see if it worked.
Also, babies these days are using a more refined trick like Jedi Mind trick, a steady eye contact as a distraction technique. Another 11-month-old, upon being presented with toast she didn't want to eat, would hold eye contact with her mother while discreetly chucking the toast onto the floor.

Now you know how treacherous/deceitful babies are. No wonder why a kid was convicted with mass murder a few weeks back (In Jharkhand if I m right). New laws should be framed to convict such babies.

What if ...

(Disclaimer - The incidents from my life mentioned below are purely fictional)

"It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world." - Chaos Theory (Quote stolen from Wikiquote!)

Based upon this was a movie"The Butterfly Effect". In that the main protagonist repeatedly goes into past and change one incident. That leads to a series of incidents - intended and unintended that alter the course of his life.

What if we were allowed to go to past and change one thing? Putting it in another way had one thing in past, how insignificant it might sound had been different, how differently we could have been placed as of now. Say, for instance, in my first day in college had I reached the bathroom couple of seconds earlier, I would have found it unoccupied, I wouldn't have been late in taking bath and hence reaching the class. That day I could have sat in the first bench of class and maybe the chain of events would have led me to perform well, and who knows I could have been a scientist. Or I could have found a seat next to a nice chick and would have stuck a nice conversation with her and had been dating her. Or I could have sat next to the would be so-called-'Don' of our batch,( and couldn't get the seat as I was few minutes late) and had become a notorious 'goonda' in the locality and maybe ended up being a criminal. Far-fetched it may seem, but who knows how various factors would have shaped up!

Maybe, that extra right answer in my HSC would have put me in a completely different place, and my life would have taken a completely different course; or had I not been given out wrongly in the school cricket match in class 6, things would have been completely different.

We might have, at some point of time read or pondered or heard someone ponder over questions like
What if Hitler had won the world war?
or What if India and Pakistan had not separated?
or what if XYZ government had come to power?
et al.

These are quite big "what ifs", even a seemingly insignificant "what if" could have altered the course of things, and things as of today would have been altogether different.

The Rent Trap

Economic Rent

Definition: In economics, the cost commanded by a factor that is unique or inelastic in supply.

Example: The portion of rental income attributable to the land is often considered economic rent, since the land will exist no matter what the rental rate. In this context, economic rent carries a connotation of being "unearned" by its owner.

Today is bright and hopeful because, for once, the nations developing are growing faster than the nations already developed.

Will the developing world, then, ever 'catch up' with the developed world?

My personal intuition (Read: I am too lazy to actually hunt for numbers that would prove/disprove anything) would be No.

My reasoning (independent of data again, of course! :P..) is like this.
On a straight highway, there are two cars, N and S (Standing for North and South = Developed and Developing). N has had a head start and is 10 km ahead of S.
Speed of N= 100 kmph, which the driver increases by 3% after every hour.
Speed of S=10 kmph, which the driver increases by 9% after every hour.
Distance Now between N and S = 10 km

After 1 hour,
N is 110 km down the road.
S is 10 km down the road
Distance between N and S = 100 km

After 2 hours,
N is 110+103 = 213 km down the road
S is 10+10.9=20.9 km down the road
Distance between N and S = 192.1 km

After 3 hours,
N is 213+106.09=319.09 km down the road
S is 20.9+ 11.881 = 32.781 km down the road
Distance between N and S = 286. 309 km

As you can see, it is going to take a looooooong time for S to catch up with N.... :P

What makes this even more interesting is, N is actually asking S to agree to use new and expensive "eco" fuel, that will limit speed increases to less than 7%.

WTF Headlines of Today

Guys!!!!!!!!!
Have a look at some of the WTF news headlines of today….

Govinda: "Salman has been there for me."
The WTF element here is not that I am doubting the sacred relationship of the two actors/jokers. But my whole point is why making such an offensive public statement especially when they know the vulnerability of our society. Many Boyfriends would die to hear the above statements from their Girlfriends. Think about the effect this statement might have on minds of our youth. Also Gaygiri is still banned in India so they have kind of broken the law. Thus, I urge whoever-should-do to convict the two actors for showing affection for each-other in public and trying to legitimize Gaygiri which might (as proponents of Indian culture claim) degrade our social values.


07/07/07: A perfect date with destiny?
First it was 06/06/06, which was considered ominous and now 07/07/07 which is being associated with perfection. As far as my memory says nothing ominous or anything even closer to that happened last year. Yet that didn’t deter some useless idle souls from claiming that something big awaits this 07/07/07.
But why should I worry?? According to numerology even my ruling number is 7, and if the article is correct a “date with destiny” awaits me. I am thinking about a kool, sexy girl approaching me for a date (hope it’s not too much).


Buried infant rises from grave
The story is about a family where 7 (This number 7 has really got something) girls were born and when the 8th girl was born the parents couldn’t take it anymore and buried the little one alive on the roadside. Monotonous as it may sound but 8 in a row is a bit too much, we find it difficult to keep one girl/GF, how can you expect that poor family to keep 8 girls?? But as destiny wished, a farmer saw a hand of the infant sticking out and she was rescued. A perfect plot for a scary/Funny/??? Ramsay movie.
On a serious note I condemn the crime committed by the parents and they should be punished. It’s disappointing to see that people are still living in prehistoric times and committing gravest of crimes to their near-ones. My concern is for the infant, who should she trust?? When your parents try to kill you I think you cannot trust anybody in this whole world……..

The Newest Kid..........

Hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heylooooooo.........to everybody. I am privileged to be a part of “32” group. Not that I was never a part of this group before, I actually was one of the most ardent/loyal/credible (did it sound cliché??) member of this group right from the time it was conceived and founded by Rathi & “Sir” Myshkin. I am glad to see that the group has graduated from just an "idea” to “electronic version”. My heart-felt thanks to Nikesh PJ Rathi for giving me the opportunity to be an author on this forum. Also nice to see Sir (soon-to-be Dr.) Myshkin, putting in his valuable and profound insight on the forum in-spite of his busy schedule (that he always has). Though I caught him red-handed few weeks back roaming about karunamoyee in Salt Lake with our madam (Read our bhabhi). No offences made Myshki Sir. Also our ever-thin Raapchick is back in form, writing from Jungles of MP (Indore to be precise). His post shows the guy is still in learning mode and is expanding his vocabulary like ever-expanding universe. Way to go dude, but my fav one is BEWDA. By the way, why didn’t you include “Raapchick “ in yourlist??

I didn’t say those things because I really meant those. As I didn’t. I just said because yaar aise bolna acha lagta hai…..
Waise apun ka pranam MACT ke Bhai log ko……..

Attractiveness scale

Guys, chk this out ... kisi to site se churayela maal hai ... dunno which one !!!!

Interesting insight into theory of gals !

Soomdee mein kat lo... raada ho gaya...

These Bambaiya words are phenomenal!! I agree the list is a bit long, but believe me, each word is worth it!

Bhaiyon... tumhaare favorites kya hain??!

• Apun - Me or myself or oneself.
• Atrangi - Something strange or extraordinary.
• Akkha - (from Konkani akkhe meaning whole) Translates to "Whole" or "Complete" or "full" (denoting complete). Example: "Aaj maine akkha daaru ka botal khatam kar daala". Translates to "I finished a full bottle of alcohol today".
• Battery/Double battery/ḍhāpnyā - A person wearing prescription glasses. Battery also means flashlight.
• Bindaas- Cool, Without worries.
• Bhankas - Wasting time/Useless/Of little of no value. Usually used for wasting somebody's time with gibberish. E.g: Stop your Bhankas- I got work to do.
• Chappan tikli - One with lots of pimples on his/her face.
• Chikni or Barfi or Maal or Item - A good looking girl usually while eve-teasing like "kya item hai baap".
• Dhaasu - awesome.
• Full to - Complete e.g: "Film was Full to action." which means that the film was full of action.
• Gheun Taak - It's yours; take it. (Marathi)
• Haila or Aaila or Tujya Maila - literally means to your mother in Marathi. ('Haila!' is believed to be derived from the word 'Hai- Allah!'). Aaila is a Marathi word meaning "(to) your mother". It is an offensive word, but is not taken with the literal meaning. Mostly used as an exclamation rather than as an abuse.
• Jhakaas - Amazing, Awesome, Superb, Wonderful.
• Kalti- Get lost or go away.
• Kayko - Why? (from rustic Hindi kaahe ko? 'what for?')
• Khopcha - Means corner. Like - "Khopche me dun kya Kharcha Pani"
• Rapchik- awesome!.
• Tension - Although an English word, it is used excessively in bombay slang, for example, "eh, tujhe tension ho raha hai kya?"
• Bailya --(Bailya in Konkani means - of woman/ woman like) A guy with effeminate behaviour. usage: 'woh saala solid bailya maafik baat karta hain'
• Bakra- Literally meaning "a goat", used to denote a befooled person. "Bakra banaya usko." means "He was fooled"
• Bevada, Gutter, Tanki, Batli, JohnnyWalker - a drunkard.
• Bhaari- Literally means heavy in Hindi. However, it is used in Bambaiyya to refer to something as very nice or great, so as to say "Cool". For example, "Kya bhari website hai beedu".
• Chakka - eunuch
• Chirkut - literal meaning "mouse", can be used affectionately or derogatively
• Choo The one who is a weak link.
• Chikna - Literally "clean-shaven" or "smooth". Used usually to refer to a male new-comer or teenager, especially in a negative manner.
• Chimaat - A funny or weird looking guy.
• Chindi - small (As in chindi chor).
• Chuna lagana - Literally translated in Hindi , it means to whitewash a wall in Bambaiyya Hindi it means to "fool someone" like- "Bola tere ko ek baar sun mera, abhi laga ke gaya na tere ko chuna" (I told you once to listen to me , now see he's fooled you!)
• Chyayla - (from Marathi) an exclamation conveying frustration or happiness. It comes from the Marathi words 'Hya-cha aila'. Chyayla is not used in any derogatory sense.
• Dedh Shaana - smart-ass, smart-alec (Marathi)meaning one-and-a-half times as smart
• Dedh-dimaag - Literally "one and a half brains", in reference to an over-smart, dim-wit or stupid person.
• Dedh-foot or Dedh-futya - Literally means "one and a half foot". Usually refers to a short person. May also be a form of irreverent address to a kid.
• Dhakkan or Champak - Depending on context may mean "lid" or "stupid".
• Dimaag ka dahi/Dimaag ki maa bhen -(Dahi in Marathi means curds) Literally means making curd of the brain. It means to baffle, frustrate or irritate someone as in "Dimaag ka dahi mat bana" (Don't irritate me)
• Double Seat - Gay
• Dookaan - Literal meaning "shop" but in Mumbai the word in some sections of the society is considered equal to the buttocks of a person(Usage: Maar salay ki Dookaan pay laat maar)
• Fullmoon: bald person
• Fultoo - Too good or very cool, not to be confused with Faltoo which means useless or waste. Fultoo may also mean drunk depending on context.
• Ghantaa - Literally, it means A big bell. But in Bambaiya Hindi it means 'My Dick' and conveys the meaning, "No Ways...Thats not possible". For example if someone orders you to do something, say "Tujhe weekend pe office aana hoga (You will have to work on a weekend)", you can reply back saying "Ghantaa!".
• Ghochu - a fool
• Hata Saawan Ki Ghata- I don't care about it much!
• Jhagmag, Dhinchak - usually bright clothes
• Jhol - As in "Arre yaar, jhol ho gaya." Meaning there is a problem.
• Jholer - Someone who creates a problem(jhol).
• Kantalaa aa gaya - (Marathi + Hindi) (I) got bored
• Karjat-Kasara, Mahim-Matunga, Vasai-Virar - Based on the train routes this term refers to squint eyed people. "Ae Karjat-Kasara, idhar aa" (Hey Squint, come here!)
• Khajoor - "Dumb fellow"
• Khali pili - for no reason, as in, "khali pili kyon dimak ki maa bhen ek karela hai", literally, why are you screwing my mind for no reason.
• Kharcha-paani - Literally it means 'expense-water' and is an idiom for "stipend, pocket-money, bribe or (small) payment". In Mumbai it may also refer to beating up somebody. So depending on context, "kharcha-paani deu kya?" may mean "Do you want me/us to beat you up?" instead of "Do you want me/us to give you some money?". Conversely a person asking for a bribe (or one belonging to the lowest strata when asking for some money) will say "thoda kharcha-paani do" (Give me some money).
• Khoka - "Refers to 1 crore (10 million) rupees"
• Khopchaa - "Corner"
• Khopdi - It means 'coconut', is used for 'head', 'fool'. eg. "Mera khopdi sarka mat" (don't irritate me) or "Abe khopdi, tere baap ne bhi aise kabhi kiya tha kya?" (You idiot, did your father ever do a thing like that?)
• Kaanpatti - Area around the ear and cheek. Also means a hard slap; "Kaanpatti main deu kya?", "Ay shaane phootle nahin toh kaanpatti main bajayega"
• Kundi - Ass. "kundi chuun lo" means "kiss my ass" ... geez I always thot it was "latch", eg. "kundi lagaa de yaar zara..."
• Laafa or Chamaat - One Tight Slap
• Lafda - Means "Trouble", "Fight", "Riot". Similar to Locha. When you say, "Apun ko lafda nahi chahiye", it means, "I don't want any trouble" or "I don't want any fights".
• Locha - Means trouble or problem or in a fix. "Main bola na is loche main mat pad"
• Mamu - A Stupid Person.
• Patli gali - Escape route, or back alley. "chal chal patli gali se kat le"
• Peti - "Refers to 1 lakh (100 thousand) rupees"
• Popat - Literally it means a Parrot in Marathi. But when you say "Tera popat ho gaya", you actually mean "You got fooled". You can also call someone a "Popat" which in other words is a "Moron".
• Raada - In other words, "Fight". "Abe, raada ho gaya" means "Oi, a fight has started".
• Rampaat - In excess, heavy; "Arey kya rampaat gardi hai boss!"
• Rapchandus - same as rapchik anew version
• Rappaak - Tight slap. "Ey doon kyaa kaan ke neechey rappaak?" transliterates to "Should I give you a tight slap under your ear?"
• Rokda - Cash
• Shaan Patti - Shaan patti means if some one is creating unneccesory trouble than we can say " aye shaan patti nahi karneka kya"
• Saahi - Saahi means Correct. Also used for awesome. e.g." Mein Saahi bolta hai." means "I am saying correct", "kya saahi gadi hai !" means "What an awesome car !"
• Shahne - smart guy (used mostly sarcastically)
• Shendi -(from Marathi/ Konkani) Is a strand of hair in marathi that sticks out, or has been tied. Figuratively means "fooled". shendi laita (konkani phrase- (s/he)fools)Usage: (1)"Mereko SHENDI lagaya usne" - "I've been fooled by him." (2)"Shendi lagaake nikal ja" - "Fool him/her and abscond."
• Soomdee - "Quietly" or "Secretly". When someone says, "Soomdee me vaat le" he/she actually means "Leave this place quietly or secretly without anyone knowing about it also sometimes referred as 'soomdee mein kumdeee ho jaaa '".
• Talli - Drunk.
• Vaat lag gayi - Means I am in trouble
• Yeda ban ke peda kha - Roughly translates to "act dumb and eat the whole cake".
• Goti Jaam - Panic stricken/Scared.
• Maa Ki Aankh - Big trouble.
• Chaman Chotli - Moron.
• Sathkela - Mad. wo sathkela hai means "that person is mad".
• Hilaa daalaa - Surprised, shaken, taken aback tune hilaa daalaa yaar means "you surprised me friend". (from Konkani phrase)
• Maska - flatter. Maska means butter in Marathi/ Konkani. maska kyon mar raha hai means "why are u flattering me" (maskhaa is from Persian.)


All flicked from http://www.answers.com/topic/bambaiya-hindi

Types of Irritating Things

Right. Following up with my mindbogglingly useless classification of all things funny, I present here my irritatingly incomplete list of types of irritating things. Of course, Irritants are a subjective lot, so feel free to disagree with and get irritated by my pointed refusal to enter myself, in whole, as part of the list (Tempting as it seems, especially to show off my self deprecating sense of humour, and my proud humility).

Breakdowns in the Law of Causality
Patently unfair is when life decides to play around with the rules of the game mid-way through. The normal linkage is Cause--> Effect. E.g: Hard Work-->Success
The irritating linkage is Slimy Weasel-like Rascal buttering up the boss--> Winning the promotion.
Even this has some semblance of reason to it. At least, the weasel had the skill and the cunning to deserve success.
The really irritating linkage is Dumb Moron finds lottery ticket in rubbish -->Wins lottery
or some such.

Subjectiveness
I ask someone about something: "Is this the right thing to do, what do think?"
Fools will advise me confidently "Yes" or "No" . Fair enough.
Wise men will say, "It depends....on many things", "Its contextual, and subjective".
Right, I didn't know that, thanks. Remind me to ask you again when I have made up my mind.

Mindless Optimism
This should actually be at the very top of the list. People who are in the direst of straits, but will persist in deluding themselves that things are somehow hunkydory. Or even worse, people who will say randomly positive things like "Smile. It's free and uses hundreds of less muscles than a frown". Right, so does a clenched fist and a well-directed punch. You may say, what's wrong with optimism? Much better to go through whatever life you have with a smile on your face and a song in your heart than mooch around, bringing everybody down. I say, no, it's not better at all. I'd rather you mooched around, and were a grumpy old git. So that I could piss you off even more by saying things like "Smile. It's free and uses hundreds of less muscles than a frown".

Heroism
This is a rather strange one, at first sight. Heroes are good, you'll say. They help save the world from bad guys. They help old ladies cross the street and even save kittens trapped in perilously short trees.
But heroism in general is a very irritating philosophy. What right have you to selflessly and for no good reason that anyone can think of, go and risk your life to save other people's (or kitten's) lives? It completely messes up the calcutations for Total World Domination of all good, honest supervillains. Its just not fair.

Types of Funny Things

Humour is a funny thing, they say - you can't define it, and you never know where it comes from. Except, of course, that you do. Here's my classification of all things that lead to a laugh.

Types of humour

Slapstick: Children toppling over. Old people falling over. Into ditches. Into Swimming Pools. Over Banana Peels. With the Benny Hill music playing, preferably.

Coarse: Forcing obscene/vulgar language and visuals upon otherwise decent situations. Depends on shock value, on surprise, sometimes on outrage of victim.

Larry David and Seinfeld humour : Making fun of everyday life things with obtuse observations. You laugh because you never thought of that and these tremendously astute, different thinking, insensitive but eccentric people did. Sometime you laugh because there are others laughing in the background of the reel. I get it.

Sarcasm and Irony: Doing and saying the opposite of what you mean. Huh. Not funny.

Alien humour : The "Russel Peters" brand of humour - Using ethnicity and race, and accents and caricatures. Differences in behavior and thought of people are funny! Especially when repeated over and over and over....

...or pseudo intellectual humour, which consists of classifying humour and writing pagefuls about it.

Richard Dawkins and The God Delusion

I've always been intrigued by the God question, but the whole debate about the existence of God had seemed rather pointless to me after a while, with the same arguments repeated over and over again, culminating always in an uneasy stalemate. The debate, however, is as entertaining as debates can get - especially if you like to play the devil's advocate. It isn't possible to argue logically with 'true' believers, while 'enlightened' non-believers never stop arguing their case, even against a brick wall (which is entertaining enough, in its own way, for the casual observer). The long and short of it (why do they say 'the long and short' when they just mean 'the short' anyway? And why do they use 'they' when they should use 'we'?Aaaarg!) is that the Darwinian Atheists will initially patiently, then eventually in increasing 'tear out my hair' exasperation try to explain the elegance of the evolutionary theory of creation to the obstinate Creationists, who usually counter vociferously with the "complexity needs a designer" argument, or failing that, attack Science itself as being an act of faith.
Personally, I'd like to think of myself as an agnostic and think that, even if (perhaps, especially if!) an omniscient God does exist, then my belief, or non-belief in Him should not, theoretically,matter at all in the grand scheme of things. In fact, why am I saying "Him"? Why not "Her"? Or "it"? When even our language cannot fix a label to __, how do we expect our thoughts to understand __? And then, am I supposed to fight and argue and kill and die for things like where this nameless, undescribable, ununderstandable entity was 'born' or 'died'?
The most useful approach for an agnostic would be, to not get bogged up in the argument of existence or non-existence of God, but rather ask the question "Does it benefit humanity as a whole to believe?". I suspect the answer to that would be more complex that a cursory Yes or No. Historical evidence of religious wars and percecution would suggest quite emphatically that it definetely does NOT benefit humanity to believe in more than one God... However, beharioral scientists would suggest that people need a way to reduce uncertainty in their lives, and some would go even go so far as to say that civilization would have collapsed had it not been for the moderating influence of religion, and the 'morality' it enforces.

So, by those arguments, I would go along with believing in one God (any one!), for utilitarian purposes, if the rest of humanity can reach a consensus on that one God. Since it clearly cannot, and since clearly believing in one of many conflicting ones would (as history suggests) make me either part of the killers or part of the killed, it seems I am resigned to being an Atheist after all. Richard Dawkins (currently the world's best selling Atheist!) puts it like this - Technically all atheists should be agnostics, for we can't actually 'disprove' that something exists. In that sense, of course, I am as agnostic about God as about fairies, or goblins or flying pigs!
Watch these very interesting documentaries for more substantiative viewpoints :

The God Delusion
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/richard+dawkins/video/x1a3gf_lillusione-di-dio-13-richard-dawkin
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/richard+dawkins/video/x1a2m1_lillusione-di-dio-23-richard-dawkin
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/richard+dawkins/video/x1a088_lillusione-di-dio-33-richard-dawkin

The Virus of Faith
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/richard+dawkins/video/x18jrc_il-virus-della-fede-13richard-dawki
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/richard+dawkins/video/x18jfw_il-virus-della-fede-23richard-dawki
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/richard+dawkins/video/x18fjg_il-virus-della-fede-33richard-dawki

What would be really interesting, is if similar logical and reasonable arguments can be made for the other side of the fence. Then we (I!!!) would really be stuck.