32 Somewhere @ Nowhere - The Book

2010-03-07T00:06:00.002+05:30

A bit too late to post it here, but check out my book @ HERE

Hope you like the book :)

32 के सदस्य

2010-02-21T18:10:00.001+05:30

32 ग्रुप के कार्यकरता
बन रहे है विक्रेता
उपभोक्ता को बेच रहे है
वेरियस ब्रान्डस् ग्रुप 32 का

राजु गीज़र का कोइ मेझर नही
पानी ठन्डा कभी रहता नही
बिना बिजली भी पानी गरम करे
नहाने का अदभूत आनंद दे
गरम पानी का फ़्लो कभी होता ना बन्द
राजु गीज़र आम जनता कि पसन्द

योगी फ़ैन्स के हुए सब लोग फ़ैन
गरमी की एनट्री को करता बन्द
पूरे कमरे मेन हवा फ़ैलाये
पक्या के सोस्कस के खुशबू को जल्दि भगाये
गरमी से राहत की चाह जिसको है भाइ
योगी फ़ैन्स वो लोग जरूर अपनाये

फ़्री किराना ओन हर किनारा
ससते प्रोदट्स ऐन्ड क्आलिटी सेरविसे लोगो को बुलाता दुबारा
लोगो मैन हर्ष और उल्लास
फ़्री किराना की है अलग बात
आम जनता अब यही केह रहा
छोड़ रिलायन्स, बिग बज़ार और मोर... वो देख फ़्री किराना है आ रहा

पक्या आईरन ने क्रमपल्द कपडो को दी नयी जान
कपडो की सेहत मैनटैन करे लोगो की बढाये शान
शर्ट पेन्ट या हो कोई युनिफ़ोर्म।।या फिर हो साडी, सलवार या कीसी के शादी का जोडा
पक्या आईरन ने कोम्पीटिशन को है पछाड़ा
हर ग्रहिनी के चेहरे पे लाये जो मुस्कान
पक्या आईरन है वरकिन्ग क्लास की पेहचान

ऐस ऐस ऐस ट्युब ने अन्धकार को भगाया
लोगो के घर और किस्मत को जगमगाया
गावो गावो मैन पहुचायी रोशनी
लोगो को जीने की एक नयी आस दी
बच्चे बुढे और जवान
लेते अब ऐस ऐस ऐस ट्युब का ही नाम

सरजी कूलर के क्या केहने
ठन्ड दे सबको इन गरमी के महिने
टेनशन गरमी परेशानी हटाये
बिजली के बिल को भी घटाये
घर घर लोगो को राहत दिलाये
सरजी कूलर के कोम्पीटिटरस् घबराये

ऐन आर ऐस टिवी का कोइ मैच नही
पिक्चर ऐन्ड साऊन्ड क्वालिटी मैन कोई कैच नही
हर घर मैन ऐन आर ऐस टिवी ने अपनी जगह बनायी
कोम्पीटिटरस् को लोहे के चने चबवायी
दर्शको के बीच बना नम्बर वन
ऐन आर ऐस टिवी ने जीता हर जन्ग

टाइगर मछर अगरबत्ति ने घरो मैन खुशबू फेलाया
डेन्गु और मलेरिआ को भी इन होने भगाया
दिन मैन घरो को मेहकाया
रात मैन सुरक्षा चक्र बनाया
आम जनता की येही है मान्ग
टाइगर मछर अगरबत्ति युस करो जो सेहत का रखे खयाल

Life is a Transient

2009-01-27T09:21:00.007+05:30

Long time since the last post. Before any of you get any delusion that the Constant has been reached (which cant be so. Not yet anyway), let me perturbate the old blog back into life.
With, unstrangely enough, the subject of life.

Life is a transient. So says many a bearded and slightly (!!) deranged man in orange robes. So also claimed the even more de-ranged Sage Quantum Mechanicus.

However, this global theory has to be fleshed out a bit with numbers, quadrants and graphs, says the spirit of excel, powerpoint and all irrelevantly relevant things such as these.
So behold - The wonder of Autoshapes - the Transient of Life

Exist there many interpretations in my mind of all this. (Most of them decidedly un-funny!)
But I leave you to make your own.

Like me, perhaps you can at last make use of some of those Control Systems, or Electronic Circuits courses taken in Engineering! Your options are:
1- Use super technical language of damping and max overshoot for some timely - but unfortunately - geeky jokes
2- Look pensively into the distance and draw (prophetic) analogies between transients of electrical systems and transients of life.

(As you can see, the prime motivation of this post was just to start off the morning with that autoshape line thingy that 'curves' away on its own. I had often wondered if it would be possible to draw oscillations within an envelope with that thing. I know my answer now. Deep, eh.)

32

2008-05-22T15:23:00.000+05:30

Funny Story of the Day

2008-03-15T18:53:00.000+05:30

The taste of honey was just too tempting for a bear in Macedonia, which repeatedly raided a beekeeper's hives. Now it has a criminal record after a court found it guilty of theft and criminal damage. But there was an empty dock in the court in the city of Bitola and no handcuffed bear, which was convicted in its absence. The case was brought by the exasperated beekeeper after a year of trying vainly to protect his beehives. For a while, he kept the animal away by buying a generator, lighting up the area, and playing thumping Serbian turbo-folk music. But when the generator ran out of power and the music fell silent, the bear was back and the honey was gone once more. "It attacked the beehives again," said beekeeper Zoran Kiseloski. Because the animal had no owner and belonged to a protected species, the court ordered the state to pay for the damage to the hives - around $3,500 (£1,750; 2,238 euros)'- The BBC Website.

Budget 2008-09

2008-03-01T12:51:00.001+05:30

Sometime back, I came across an amazing article which talks about a pattern which Indian budgets invariably seem to follow. Whatever the coalition Khichidi (Single party at center is alreay an illusive dream) rules the center, first two years are spent on implementing CMP(Common Minimum Progran) and to a certain extent budgets are liberal. Next two years, budget focuses on mending the goofs of the previous two years and final usually reveals itself as election oriented, populist budget. For the current ruling UPA government, the pattern seem to follow just fine.

First things first, the leap year budget is a populist budget, as expected because election mode is soon going to be switched on by parties across India. But I still wonder what happened to Mr. Manmohan Singh, the man behind the revolutionary reforms of 1990 who dared to go against the conventional and presented the reformist budget in an inward looking India. Why is he hailing this budget as "excellent & Outstanding"? Does he think that India has had enough of reforms? Well to certain extent I can understand the pressure from nagging partners(Left Parties), who are still unsatisfied.

I have few observations and few comments to make on this budget. Thanks for extending the income tax threshold limit to 1.5L from 1.1L, middle class salaried families & bachelors like me are happy. But why promoting discrimination in a secular country like India? I am a proponent of gender equality be it salary, rights, freedom and everything. Why is income tax threshold limit different for fairer and unfairer sexes? It really hurts to see discrimination being promoted in the country.

60,000 crore debt waiver for farmers is a welcome step, but funding is something to watch out for. National Banks are going to writeoff this as bad debt and government is going to provide them with liquidity. Liquidity is probably one of the most abused words in economics, which I have so far failed to understand. Inflation, depression, recession, growth everything seems to converge towards liquidity. I wouldn't be surprised if tomorrow government issues yet another off-budget special bond to cover the banks, like the way it has been shielding Oil companies so far. Another conflicting point here is what about those honest farmers who have paid their debts. Won't they feel cheated? This waiver is an incentive for debt evasion for them.

Indirect tax reduction across various sectors is an appreciated step. This will reinforce the much needed domestic comsumption in these times of gobal downturn. Also investment in infrastructure and education is a good step. Setting up three new IITs and IISc was a much needed step but without addressing the issue of trained faculty, this aint going to work.

For me this was yet another budget which didn't have much in store for me or probably I couldn't understand a large part of it. But by first look budget seems a balanced one and Mr. FM has done a good job.

Pls visit this link!

2007-11-20T20:10:00.000+05:30

http://unpagalguy.blogspot.com/

Tendlya

2007-11-17T12:00:00.000+05:30

One of the smallest posts-

90s ka hero -Sachin Tendulkar (No pun intended!)
Hoping that he breaks the jinx soon!

Few more keys to happiness ...

2007-11-08T04:03:00.000+05:30

In continuation with what Myshkin posted coupla months ago, few more keys to success

1. Bypass the Maslow's heirarchy of needs to reach highest level

The hierarchy of needs are physiological, safety, belonging, esteem, self actualization in order from lower to higher. Powered by this information why not reach the highest level ... i.e. self actualization!

Click here to view Maslow's hierarchy of needs

2. Work on proxies. There are some proxies whch lead to happiness. For e.g.
Good work --> Interest --> Love for work --> Job satisfaction --> Happiness

So just reach the last stage "Job Satisfaction", which can serve as a proxy for leading to happiness. So instead of going for good work, just condition the mind to give output of job satisfaction, and you'll be happy! Same may be applied to different fields probably
___

However all this irelevant gyaan type sounding crap is better said than done !

B-school blues...

2007-11-02T11:38:00.000+05:30

Just a coupla thoughts on what us MBA folks generally say... and don't say :)

Say (rather non-chalantly): I average about 4-5 hours of sleep a day
Don't say: I sleep for 3 hrs in class

Say: I stay up till 5 in the morning doing assignments...
Don't say: I start working on my assignments around midnight

Say: We have to make regular presentations which require a lot of preparation...
Don't say: We believe in recycling... Who said we can't use stuff from one presentation in the other.. And of course, Google rocks!

Say: The days are always packed...
Don't say: They're also packed with AOE, GTA, Fifa, Quake III...

Say: The parties here ROCK!!
Don't say: If you don't drink, smoke or 'get high on dancing', you'd be bored to death.

More inputs & experiences invited PNR, Sirji, Yogi, ATM, anya junta...

An Orwellian thought

2007-10-30T04:15:00.000+05:30

"The old civilizations claimed that they were founded on love or justice. Ours is founded upon hatred." - 1984

Far fetched it may sound, but are we going this way ?
I hope not!

But looking at incidents like Gujarat Riots (the politics of that time refreshed recently due to so-called sting operations), and numerous other examples, where polarization has actually been successful strategy for being voted to power by the members of the civilization, I am tempted to think so!

Intellectual Imperialism

2007-10-13T11:59:00.000+05:30

We have been reading about imperialism throughout our history textbooks, mostly in form of political dominance, and more recently hearing terms like ideological imperialism and economic imperialism in recent times.

It may appear too macroscopic a thing. But, isn't imperialism too deep rooted ... well in day to day lives?
Be in our daily lives, or our job or personal lives.

For example, our jobs and our institutions often teach us to do things in a particular way. Often that way, usually we tend to look at a problem as a set of numbers and form of some model or another, or desperately trying to fit in a model within a situation.

Maybe it is taking over of our thought process by some fixed defined set of once (or many times !) successful things, and expecting it to be a success every time. Probably this often prohibits from taking a larger view of the situation, and limiting ourselves to just that model and solving those 'symptoms'.

Or consider a situation in which just reprimanding might have worked, and using that (probably we cannot think in some other way ... OR ... we have some fear in thinking so!) we try to find a solution ... which often are too shot term, and in doing run it might aggravate a problem.

Another example of intellectual imperialism can be that of ragging in colleges. It is often assumed that this is the way of making the new comers accept their thought process, and making them respect others and 'develop' their ability to deal with the situations, though at a particular level it is a form of ideological imperialism

Intellectual imperialism might be quite similar to ideological imperialism, but I think while the latter deals with our beliefs, and our assumptions, while the former deals with how we solve a particular problem, or deal with a particular situation, which may be somewhat based upon ideological imperialism

___

Comments and opinions ?

Answers to last week's kostins-1

2007-10-04T12:16:00.000+05:30

1. The Pacman strategy.

2. Aquarium, Totorum, Laudanum and Compendium are the four Roman camps that surround the little village where Asterix and his friends live.

3. Nandan Nilekani who said this to Thomas Friedman.

4. The Sony Bravia. The word BRAVIA is an acronym of ‘Best Resolution AudioVisual Integrated Architecture.

5. Al-Qaeda. Infosys uses modern technology for empowerment, Al-Qaeda uses the same technology to fuel anger and return to the old times.

6. The Herge Foundation.

7. The Beverly Hills Hotel.

8. Urdu. These are the different languages on an INR currency note, in the order that they appear.

9. Pratibha Patil.

10.Deciding the price of Gold.

Sorry for the delay in posting the answers!!!

Cheers!!!

Some quiz kostins from maah side!!!

2007-09-25T17:47:00.000+05:30

Here are some of the quiz questions which I would like all of you to try without googling. :)

1. What is the strategy called, when a company targeted for takeover launches a counter offer and actually ends up buying the company trying to acquire it?

2. This one is for comic book fans. Where will you find a fish tank, a glass of a favorite pirate drink, an opium tincture, and a collection of books?

3. Who said "Tom, the playing field is being leveled" to whom about outsourcing?

4. How do we better know a technology that promises ‘best resolution audiovisual’ and also has an Integrated Architecture for it?

5. According to Thomas Friedman, there are two responses to Globalization. One is Infosys, which is the other?

6. The 2006 Light of Truth award given by the Dalai Lama for significant contribution to public understanding of Tibet was given to Desmond Tutu and who?

7. One for rock fans. The album cover for Hotel California features which real-life hotel?

8. Assamese, Bengali, Gujarati, Kannada, Kashmiri, Konkani, Malayalam, Marathi, Nepali, Oriya, Punjabi, Sanskrit, Tamil, Telugu, ____. Fill in the blank.

9. Who was Respondent #8 in a case of RBI against P. M. Sahakari Bank of Jalgaon in 2003, when the bank had illegally waived off interest on many loans?

10.What do the following banks do together, twice daily? Scotia-Mocatta (a part of Bank of Nova Scotia), Barclays Capital, Deutsche Bank, HSBC and Societe Generale.

Will post the answers on 3rd October. Happy Solving!!!

A 'Kaya'tic Experience

2007-09-14T01:52:00.000+05:30

Its a typical lazy Friday morning at home during the vacations for Tiger Saajan.

11 am.

Tiger's slouching on the sofa, remote in hand, flipping through the crap. His mom walks by, asking if he's finished his breakfast, which btw is in his other hand, for a while then.

He looks at the plate, its indeed empty. Magically he's finished everything without ever really noticing it. Mom comes around again and he answers yes. Then, back to channel-switching.

His mom, unable to bear all the inaction asks Tiger his plan for the day. He just nods his head in some arbit direction.

She tells him, "Well, I have this free voucher for a hair loss checkup". (A few days back, he'd mentioned to Mum about his sudden hair loss problem.)

Hearing the word FREE Tiger springs right up, all his Marathigiri instincts kicking in. And, its not like he's going to the dentist or something!

Its a Rs.1000 worth FREE consultation at the Kaya Skin Clinic, Lokhandwala. Kaya's a relatively new brand of skin & haircare services & products from Marico. Haven't we all heard about it innumerable times - Marketing cases et al.

So he tells Mom "I wouldn't mind going", and asks her to fix up an appointment.

Its scheduled to be at 3.30 pm.

After fiddling around with the lappy and TV (interchangably), Tiger sits down for lunch at 1.30, conveniently forgetting that he's not yet had a bath.

Nevertheless, the lunch is fabulous as usual and he heads to the couch for a quick nap.

"I'll wake up at 3, have a bath and leave for THE KAYA SKIN CLINIC at 3.20".

As usual, he misses the alarm, and wakes up at 3.20, groggy and disoriented. A pair of jeans and he's off. He reaches at 3.30 dot. Its on the first floor of a quite swanky building. (Its Lokhandwala, its gotta be swanky!)

Tiger feels the cool metal handle on the glass door. At that exact moment he feels a twinge in his spine. Something's not right, sixth sense? MAYBE!! He walks in nevertheless.

The place smells nice. But the color, its, errr.. Pink-ish, or is it? Again, that twinge in the spine. Hmmmm...

There are two hot looking chicks behind the table. Tiger proudly walks up, FREE consultation coupon in hand.

"I have an appointment for 3.30." The chicks are not that hot, Tiger decides on further 'examination', ones a chink, and the other he can't figure out. Both are like plastic dolls who've been given some weird sort of polish, the light actually seeming to reflect off-of their faces.

"Please have a seat sir"

Tiger takes a seat, its seems rather hard on the bottom, but he lets that pass. The chink comes up and gives him a form to fill.

Name, age, yada yada yada... Err.. then, "When did you last shave?" The twinge in the spine, again... He looks up quizzingly, the chink come over again and asks politely, "Sir, may I help you fill the form"?

Tiger declines, he says its ok, and fills 'Yesterday' for that rather odd question.

He gives up the form. The other chick then tells him that a Dr. Manisha would see him in a while.

As he's sitting around twiddling thumbs, a couple of women walk by, through the door and out. Tiger wonders, "Hmm.. This place is nice..." But he's actually still a little uncomfortable, the place is quite claustrophobic, the Pink on the walls seeming to get brighter with time.

Dr. Manisha, finally arrives and escorts Tiger to her room. She's a sweet lady, dressed crisply in white and looks professional.

In the room, she gets on the topic right away. Tiger discusses about his sudden hair loss, and gives details about how much he sleeps, eats, drinks etc etc.

"Would you like to get your skin also examined, sir??"

"If its part of the package, I'd be happy to" Tiger responds amicably.

So she turns on this machine and asks Tiger to place his head on it. THere's a mirror inside. Its dark, but he can see his teeth and a whole lot of orange dots on his face!

"These dots that you see are oil pores, and they can be removed with treatment"

Tiger wonders to himself, "Who the hell can see these things without this machine, how does it even matter!!"

"You can enrol for a face massage" blah blah blah... Tiger's lost. He politely declines, and reminds the doc, "What do you suggest for the hair loss?"

"Well this is a typical andro-genetic hair loss." (or some sh*t like that...) "Its seen in males in the age group 25-40 and is also called male pattern baldness" yada yada yada...

"Err, what do you suggest I do for this", Tiger quickly asks.

"You can go for our special hair oil, apply it daily, and then use our special hair shampoo, twice a week".

As the doc says this, another chick walks in, looks at Tiger and hurriedly retreats!?!

Thats it! Tiger realizes his worst fears coming true - The Pink color walls, the fragnance, all the 'hi-fi' technology which can show you your otherwise invisible pores, which only women can lose their sleep over - The place's TOTALLY for them!

Tiger tries to keep conversation with the doc as brief as possible. By now, she's pleading with him to get a facial, use their toner, get his back treated, etc. etc. etc. He gives her his Mum's number as his own number, says his polite thankyous and rushes out.

At the reception, four of the hottest chicks in all of friggin' Lokhandwala are sitting their, waiting their turn for the doc.

And as Tiger rushes out, he wonders to himself "What on earth are they doin here, they don't need to see them orange dots and go ballistic.." Its all ok, they look good as they are!!

He smiles at the chink and is quickly past the glass door.

He heaves a sigh of relief as he sits in the rick to get back home. Boy, that was one hell of an experience. At least he got to see some good chicks for FREE, okay he paid 30 bucks for the rick, but itna to chalta hai na!?

Zero sum

2007-09-11T22:35:00.000+05:30

The world we live in is full of zero-sum events. Maybe law of conservation of energy can be one of the foundation stones in that direction. Even in fields like economics or market share or anything, taking a larger or a more holistic view it often is a zero sum.

Consider a economic system in which various parameters (say prices, or purchasing power parity of different people or sets of people etc.) are x1, x2 etc.

So we have,

x1 + x2 + x3 + ... + xn= 0, for all transactions in a fairly large system.

Now if we say that economy is growing at some rate say r.

[r can be dependent upon rate of inflation or GDP growth rate or some parameter which can be calculated as a weighted average of various factors]

So, for the bigger economy, we have

r * [x1 + x2 + x3 + ... + xn ]= 0.

Thus, economy still remains a zero sum game.

Various changes be it social, political or technological, it effects r, but the variables within the bracket may not be effected.

Qualitatively, economy is growing, but on one hand rich are getting richer, and poor are getting poorer. Both qualitative and quantitative appear to be in sync somewhere. So it doesn't matter in the system as whole, and it remains a zero sum game. Same may hold true for other fields also.

Bollywood movies ka random analysis

2007-08-31T01:43:00.001+05:30

This is just a random take on some of the Bollywood movies.

Have tried to represent on a graph, with two axes. This classification is quite intuitive and may at times seem devoid of logic. It is inspired by techniques of perceptual mapping in marketing research and somewhat from strategic mapping. But this is about my take on it, with minuscule impurity of the world view. Also, a classification doesn't automatically label a movie being good or bad.

No criticism will be tolerated ... opinions are welcome though !!!

(Click on the image to enlarge)

EOQ

2007-08-25T17:54:00.000+05:30

ECONOMIC ORDER QUANTITY (EOQ)

(Economic Order Quantity) The most economical quantity of a product that should be purchased at one time. The EOQ is based on all associated costs for ordering and maintaining the product.

More details at - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Economic_order_quantity

This concept which is used in supply chain management for determining the optimum amount of materials that should be purchased usually based upon two chief criteria -
1. The more you order, the more discount you get, hence cost per unit reduces
2. The more quantity you have, more is the cost of storing these items.

These two forces kind of act in opposite directions. Hence the EOQ point is a kind of trade off between them

______________________

But I think, the concept of EOQ doesn't end here. It can be applied to any aspect in life.

Say, for example eating. Without it you are undernourished and if in excess, you risk obesity.
Or physical exercise, without it you risk bad health. If overdone you become too tired and exhausted.

Think of stardom. If one is unknown usually he/ she tries to be popular, but i they reach somewhere in top of popularity chart they start yearning for some privacy.

Philosophers have always argued that without sadness, happiness loses it worth. Refining it further, one cannot be happy, rather TOO happy all the time. Maybe life has some EOQ of happiness, and there is a fixed band within which each of us fluctuate. Even an extremely sad person may have some brief spurts of happiness, the measure of which he only knows as it is usually relative to other emotions experienced by him. Similar may hold true for things like luck, love, hatred, freedom etc. More than EOQ of anything might decrease its worth, and might make it appear too costly in terms of price one has to pay. That price maybe in any form of monotony or increase in threshold level of any of the above things/ emotions or anything.

They say, excess of anything is bad. Maybe, what they want to say is that everything must be in EOQ.

___________

(The writer is an equation-phobic person. This is third term in course of MBA he is being taught the concept of EOQ, and yet he couldn't get the logic/ mathematics behind it. He has his end term exams and is close to failing in one subject, yet he is trying to to things other than mugging up the EOQ equation and derivation ... maybe the EOQ of studies for him is quite less !)

A passing thought

2007-08-20T14:27:00.000+05:30

Considering the current Indian political scenario, what would the communist leaders probably be thinking -

I guess -

"Left is always right, right is always wrong"

The Key to Happiness

2007-08-17T17:58:00.000+05:30

...is really simple, if all you unhappy philosophers didn't know already.

Its a balance:
1) Appreciating what you do have
2) Appreciating what you don't have

Appreciate what you do have because you only realize its value when it is not there. Look back, stand back, zoom out and look at yourself and what you have as if it were not there, and you will realize how lucky you are.

Appreciating what you don't have is all about goal - setting. Its a reason to get your smug arse away from all the appreciating you have been doing for things you already have and getting to see all that you can possibly have. If you try, plan, scheme, plot and execute. Without losing sight of [1] above so much that that you become obsessed with [2] and lose your balance.

Torra!Torra!Torra!

2007-08-13T10:08:00.000+05:30

The English Premier League season started anew this weekend. All the so called 'big 4' were in action. Liverpool faced Aston Villa at Villa Park on Saturday in what was decidedly a banana skin - As a Liverpool fan, I was hoping for a win but would have been fairly satisfied with a draw, even with the spankin' new attacking players Rafael Benitez had acquired over the summer. Yossi Benayoun, from West Ham for 5m GBP, Andrei Voronon on a Bosman and the young Ryan Babel for 11.5m GBP from Fayenoord. But most of all, people were looking to 23 year old Spanish International Fernando Torres, bought for a staggering amount of somewhere between 20m and 27m (depending on which rag you happen to believe) GBP from Athletico Madrid. Liverpool had always had an airtight defence. These 4 had been bought to address their nemesis from last season - a chronic shortage of goals. The Japanese had a secret code to signal the beginning of the Attack on Pearl Harbour - "Torra, Torra, Torra!". Hopefully, Torres, Torres, Torres would be something of an attacking revelation for the Reds as well.
...In the end, it required the intervention of Captain Steven "One Man Army" Gerrard , MBE to bail Liverpool out with a superbly taken freekick. Final Score Aston Villa 1- 2 Liverpool.

Of the other 3 next day, all home games against relatively weak opposition, I was hoping for an upset in at least one. It looked like Fulham would hold on to a surprising 1 goal lead but Arsenal uncharacteristicall managed to pull this one back to 2-1 at the Emirates. Chelsea also had a very unusually high goal scoring game and managed to win 3-2, despite a minor scare, against Birmingham (also the Blues!). Just when I was thinking, 'oh well...' Reading managed to hold Manchester United (Summer Spending 60m GBP! Nani, Anderson, Hargreaves and Tevez. Not managing to find the net in your home opener against weak opposition: Priceless!) at bay for a well deserved (Shots on Goal: Reading 2 MAN U 22!) draw at Old Trafford to round off a thoroughly satisfying weekend.

Managing Politics

2007-08-09T19:40:00.000+05:30

Management in politics has usually been considered as inefficient and based upon whims of top leaders. However, various management techniques are used and can be used in politics – some obvious, some not too obvious. Let us look at few of the domains in management that are/ can be used

Strategy – Vision, like in any other corporate entity, is important. It is usually the agenda of the party. Mission is to win elections to help achieve the vision. Apparently, vision is different from mission. But in practice, mission statement acts as a vision. Also SWOT analysis, Porter’s 5 forces model can help. In fact the election agenda can be classified in the BCG matrix, and appropriate action can be taken. Another notable fact is the almost defunct board of directors, usually all of whom aspire to be the central authority, and thus usually abysmal corporate governance. The power is usually concentrated at the central authority.

HR – It is quite obvious, and perhaps the most important field of management. Team dynamics is one of the most important areas to win an election. Recruitment and selection are important. Laterals are usually preferred. Criminal background helps. One of the most important factors influencing HR productivity is their appeasement. A lot of work is outsourced, which plays an important role in party’s success.

Operations – Internal operations are hardly efficient. A large chunk of time is spent in useless photo kheechna, garlands pehnana, chamchagiri etc. thus reducing employee productivity. ‘Lean’ principl,es are not at all possible, as inefficiency is a necessary condition for thriving. Supply chain includes suppliers like lobbyists, goons etc. Another notable feature is the sudden increase in efficiency during election times, but most of them is due to work outsourced to goons for activities like threatening people, booth capturing etc. Thus, strategic partnership/ strategic alliance help.

Systems-Barring few, most of the people are too traditional and too regressive in outlook and may frown upon anything related to computers or any gadget. So systems implementation first requires a change in mindset, and currently it is hardly applicable

Marketing-It is the most important part of strategy. A huge amount of resources in form of money, manpower, and time are needed. Firstly the market is properly segmented, usually on basis of caste and religion. The targeting is based upon 2 parameters – the size of the segment, and expected voter turnout from that market segment. Market research can be used to identify appropriate target segment. Politician’s USP is relatively irrelevant as long as proper caste/ religion are targeted. Advertising uses both print media as well as electronic media. But point of sales is important (again … it depends upon the local dealer … oops local goon!).

Finance- This has often been shrouded in controversy. Usually it is below the line financing. Sources of funds include corporate lobbyists, party funds, extortionists, dacoits, bribe, etc. Another interesting idea can be listing on the stock exchange. In case the party is in power. It can jack up the price and get funds. Also, once in power, it can siphon public funds in its own kitty and swelling it further.

Then there are many areas like mergers and acquisitions, party splits, customer relation management, etc. The list can be infinite. The above list includes just broad functional areas.

(Scared of strategic partners, I haven’t named any political party!)

The Animator Vs The Animation

2007-08-08T18:32:00.000+05:30

Brilliantly Creative (or Destructive? Same Difference!)

http://www.atomfilms.com/film/animator_vs_animation.j
http://home.iitk.ac.in/~hussain/fav/Animation.swf

Quotable Quotes

2007-08-07T18:15:00.000+05:30

If you keep your mind sufficiently open, people will throw a lot of rubbish into it.
William Ornton
Never argue; repeat your assertion
Robert Owen
Submit to the present evil, lest a greater one befall you.
Phædrus, Fables, (8 AD)
Never eat anything at one sitting that you can't lift.
Miss Piggy (Muppet character, by Jim Henson/Frank Oz)
Decide promptly, but never give your reasons. Your decisions may be right, but your reasons are sure to be wrong.
Lord Mansfield
In baiting a mousetrap with cheese, be sure to leave room for the mouse.
H.H. Munro ("Saki")
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Anon.
When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum.
Anon.
The art of living is more like that of wrestling than of dancing; the main thing is to stand firm and be ready for an unseen attack.
Marcus Aurelius
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucille Ball
Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow. Delay may give clearer light as to what is best to be done.
Aaron Burr
You can get a lot more done with a kind word and a gun, than you can with a kind word alone.
Al Capone
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.
James Bryant Conant
There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.
Monta Crane
Damn your principles. Stick to your party.
Benjamin Disraeli

and finally, some smashing recursive witticisms
Be frank and explicit. That is the right line to take when you wish to conceal your own mind and to confuse the minds of others.
Benjamin Disraeli
Never use intuition.
Omar Bradley

An Interesting Rule

2007-08-07T12:42:00.000+05:30

I came across this rule on the Indian Railways Site

"Full refund of fares shall be granted in case the railway administration is not able to provide accommodation for any reason whatsoever to passengers holding reserved tickets, provided such tickets are cancelled within three hours of the actual departure of the trains."

So, what they are saying is, if you can forecast a blooper by the railways with more than three hours to go b4 departure, then you deserve a refund.

Linear time ?

2007-07-29T16:33:00.001+05:30

"I do not believe in linear time. There is no past and future. All is one and existence in temporal sense is illusionary" - Calvin

How true can it be? Maybe, after all time isn't linear, and we just perceive it to be so. It might be on some other weird kind of scale, and we presume it to be linear because everyone presumes it, and everyone presumes it, because everyone else presumes it, and everyone else presumes it because it was the assumption upon which everyone made assumptions about things and built all those theories about it.

Einstein once said "Put your hand on a hot stove and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That is relativity". Maybe, there is something in this which defies the linearity assumption about time !

Anyway, how would the life be if we suddenly realized that time is actually on a logarithmic scale, or there is an imaginary component to time, say telling someone (10 + 3j) minutes are left for the party!!!

A Free comment

2007-07-23T21:08:00.001+05:30

A Sandinista official allegedly said about a Nicaraguan opposition newspaper in 1984: "They accused us of suppressing freedom of expression. This was a lie and we could not let them publish it."

A History of Surfdom

2007-07-23T13:56:00.000+05:30

Surfdom is the socio-economic status of labourers under globalisation, and specifically relates to capitalism. It was a condition of bondage or modified slavery seen primarily during the Information Ages in Emerging Economies. Surfdom was the enforced labour of ‘surfs’ on the information fields of employers, in return for protection, ESOPs and the right to work on their leased lines.

Surfdom involved work not only on IT fields, but various other information-related work, like finance, banking (both investment and consumer), medicine and even in production. Corporations formed the basic unit of society during this period, and both the boss and his surfs were bound legally, economically and socially. Surfs were labourers who were bound to the terminal; they formed the lowest social class of the information society. Surfs were also defined as people in whose labour bosses held property rights. Globalization in Emerging Economies evolved from imperialist slavery of late Colonial Empires and spread through Asia and other developing parts of the world around the late 20th century; it flourished in these economies during the Boom Ages but lasted until the 21th century.

After the Internet Wave, surfdom became increasingly rare in most of Western Europe but was strong in the Central and Eastern Europe and Asia (this phenomenon was known as "later surfdom"). In India, it lasted legally up to the 2100s and in China until 2189. The Entrepreneurial Boom broke the established social order to some degree and weakened surfdom. In Eastern Europe the institution persisted until the mid-21th century. In Finland, Norway and Sweden surfdom was not established, and did not exist. Surfdom, according to Scott Adam's related work in 'cubicle-ism', can be applied to New Russia and East Europe, Brasilia, ancient Americana, South East Asia (Vietnam to Korea), Post Liberalization India, China (Zhou dynasty and end of Mao dynasty), and all such ‘cubicle’ based economies. According to some historians, surfdom could also be thought to be a ‘spaceless’ phenomenon, which occurred to a large extent via cyberspace, through such nebulous means as telecommuting, where the ‘boss’ was nameless, but serfdom existed nonetheless is a pseudo-libertarian form, where the cubicle existed as a metaphor for economic dependence on suatained mediocrity. Although surfdom existed in all these regions it was not uniform throughout them.

Etymology

The word "surf" originated from the Middle French "serf", and can be traced farther back to the Latin servus, meaning "slave". In Late Antiquity and most of the Middle Ages, what we now call surfs were usually designated in Latin as coloni (sing. colonus). As slavery gradually disappeared and the legal status of these servi became nearly identical to that of coloni, the term changed meaning into our modern concept of "serf", pertaining to agricultural labourer and later, to ‘surf’, as applicable to workers in the information economy. This meaning fell out of use by the 2200s, but the current meaning was first conceptionalized, though not formally stated as such, in 1984.

The system of surfdom

In New Economy Asia almost all corporate assets were owned publicly, listed in developed financial exchanges. The shareholders consisted of the nobility (large single investors) , the mutual funds and private equity. Surfs were allowed to work in certain cubicles in exchange for a percentage of the product they produced (“incentive”). While most surfs were programmers, some surfs were professionals in different verticals, such as finance, banking, pharmaceuticals, etc. Corporations consisted of a head office, where the CEO, President, or Thought Leader lived, and a boardroom consisting of elders (directors). Surfs worked in offshore branch offices, in ‘cubicles’. These cubicles were actually synthetic huts made from wooden beams, plastic and glass. Windows were rare and a hole was left in the roof to allow smoke from firewalls to escape. Whole teams worked in a single room in open cubicles, leaving little privacy. Usually a small water cooler was the "heart" of this primitive society and acted as both a place for gossip and often transformed into the centre of entertainment for the villagers (or 'surfers') . "The essential characteristic of an information society was the near-total subordination of the surfs to the economic authority and jurisdiction of the management. Programmers were surfs - but most were not technically slaves"(Backman, 164).

The lives of surfs were very strenuous. The boss needed to maintain his authority in order to maintain the social structure. The HR guy was the bedrock of cubicle life and all members of the community were dependent on him for their corporate values instruction, renumeration and obligations. The HR guy could “proclaim [a surf’s duties], more for the society than for the management; such total servitude is indeed useful to everyone”(Frantzen/Moffat, 60). Bosses and HR guys who were able to insist that the surf’s role was indeed essential and important to the survival of the community, and could communicate such importance via animated slide presentations, often perpetuated this system.

The surf's employment contract

The surfs had an empoyment contract much in the same fashion as a boss or HR guy. A surf's employment contract was that, in return for economic protection, he would reside upon and work in cublicle under the jurisdiction of his boss, and under the ownership of his corporation.

The period rationale was that a surf "worked for all", while a boss or leader "thought for all" and a shareholder "bought for all." Thus everyone had his place. The surf worked harder than all others, and was the worst fed, but at least he had his place and, unlike in slavery, there was a degree of reciprocity in the employment contract.

A corporate lord (majority stockholder) could not sell his surfs as a Roman might sell his slaves. On the other hand, if he chose to dispose of a corporate arm, the surf or surfs associated with that arm went with it to serve their new lord. Further, a surf could not abandon his cubicle without permission, nor could he ‘own’ his own time while there.

If this piece seems remarkable similar to "A History of Serfdom" (Reference http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serfdom) - its because it is.

Case of too many cases

2007-07-20T22:03:00.000+05:30

Overdose of anything is bad, they say. Sadly, this has been my case in recent days and am sharing this case here. The case in the point is that my recent examinations had all papers which were case studybased, barring one subject.

B-schools have often been lauded for case based pedagogy. Personally I find this as a better way of learning (and often with lots of scope to "GLOBE" in the paper). But in my case, I have been recently bugged with too many cases.

With respect to this case, my case has been that I am tempted to apply Sunny Deol's famous "Tareeq pe Taareeq" (from movie Damini) to these 'cases'. Here it goes -

"Case pe case, case pe case, aakir kab tak solve karenge case hi case ...
Case pe case milte rahe lekin marks nahi.
Case dene waalon ne sirf case diye lekin solutions nahi.
Yahan ke profs ne case ko ek hathiyar ki tarah istemaal kiya hai.
Case solve karte huey dimaag ki waat lag gayee ... Aur hua kya ... aakhir mila ek case.
Case dene waale khud hi ek din ban jaayenge case, aur phir bhi milega sirf ek case.
Aakhir kab tak chalega ye case ..."

- Nee-Case Rathi

President - Loyal to ____ ?

2007-07-14T22:43:00.000+05:30

The race to the Rashtrapati Bhavan will soon be over and we will have a new occupant there. Probably, never before the race has been murkier. Earlier we had names of many party loyalists are doing rounds; most of them loyalists of the ruling party at the centre which has advantage of numbers. We had names of veterans like Karan Singh, Sushil Shinde, Pranab Mukherjee, Somnath Chaterjee, Shivraj Patil (who doesn’t seem to have had any substantial achievements, or stature, or qualifications... except probably loyalty to the dynasty!) of the ruling party and the current VP, Mr. Bhairon Singh shekhawat doing rounds (who, of course is contesting).

Finally we had some unknown person called Mrs. Pratibha Patil who became a candidate ... probably with no other substantial achievement (barring loyalty to the dynasty... and I won't call things like opening a women's hostel as an achievement, though it was listed as one!), and a seemingly 'tainted' past. But ultimately it all boils down to party politics, and nation takes a backseat. People do not support a candidate, or refrain from voting not because of the candidate, but because the candidate is backed by a party with which it is not on talking terms. And then there are politicians who are bringing in the regional connection or caste connection in choosing the president.

There were names of NR Narayan Murthy (though he was never interested in the post), and second term for Dr. Kalam springing up which was almost 'unanimously' shot down... except a so-called attempt by so-called third front. Probably they would not like to see someone who refuses to be a mere rubber stamp.

These issues have been highlighted in media, and most of the people may have similar views. But it is quite likely that this issue springs up because current incumbent at the Rastrapati Bhavan has been quite unbiased and neutral and has been liked be many for his role at the top, and believed by many to be one of the best presidents since independence. Earlier also we had presidents who were from a political background. First few took part in freedom struggle. But all from Dr. Rajendra Prasad to Mr. K.R.Narayanan, barring Dr. Zakir Hussain were politicians and all belonged to Congress, which has ruled India for most of the time since independence. So the party in power putting its own person as the president is not a new thing. President being completely neutral is desirable, but is a very rare phenomenon. After all who would like to lose driver’s seat in national politics? Probably this is what realpolitik is all about.

Extraordinary Mortals

2007-07-13T18:07:00.000+05:30

My first reaction when I hear for the first time about some person, in his early thirties, billionaire,being in the Forbes list of 400 richest people in the world is always "Oh Well, I guess his family must have a centuries old rich business/kingdom/treasure".
Only when I learn more, learn that some people are truly "self-made", that I begin to question my assumptions of life. So far life has always been something that "happened to me". But now, I look around, and see men and women, who make it happen.

Self made Billionaire at 32 .
That's right. Read more about the Ding Lei story here: http://www.chinatoday.com.cn/English/2004/44.htm

Another interesting read is the life story of Kia Joorabchian. Born in Iran, fled as a boy with family to Britain to escape persecution from Ayatollah Khomeini. University Drop-out. Car dealer. Hedge Fund Manager, then owner, then seller (for $50m odd!). Has British and Canadian passports, with different birthdates. Currently operating as Shady Football Agent and Sports Agency Owner. Stake in Corinthians Football Club in Brasil and controversial ownership of 2 of Argentina's star players. Has Arrest Warrant in his name issued by Interpol for charges of money laundering. Suspected links with Boris Berezovsky....
Pretty colorful a life for a thirty-something, no?
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4158/is_20060902/ai_n16711409

Boris Berezovsky's story is also, not surprisingly, a jolly interesting read - Ph.D, publisher of books, papers in journals - a bonafide academic. Then comes the rise in business to one of the richest men in the world....Continued involvement in politics...Ukraine, Chechnya and Russia, Public enmity with Putin...etc etc.
A life less ordinary.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boris_Berezovsky

You may not always agree with these people and the things they stand for (some of the things done might be pretty villainous!), but you can certainly not ignore them.
An Apple commercial says it perfectly:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oAB83Z1ydE

And I wonder : Will we make something happen?

Whims and fancies ... and decisions

2007-07-12T14:01:00.000+05:30

“It is as chaotic at the top” – NR

_______________________

Often, as a person aspiring to reach at the top, we believe that the persons at the top (or even at a higher level in organizational hierarchy) are completely rational in their decision making, influenced by nothing but objective facts and ground realities. We believe that he cannot ignore various factors, various stakeholders and various consequences in decision making. (Dilbert fans may not believe it though!)However, seemingly ‘fundoo’ human is ultimately a victim this internal chaos and lack of clarity and the decision he takes, which may not even be good is often which is hailed as excellent because of his ‘fundoo’ brand image.

Usually the decision making at the top level are often affected by personal biases, which are usually partly uninformed ones and whims and fancies of the persons at the top, and these are factors what influence the decision more than any facts and figures. It is more about what they ‘feel’ should be done, rather than what they ‘think’ should be done. These are much more relevant in cases where stakes are relatively higher, and usually increase with level of responsibility. For example managing the nation, which depends a lot about what the politician feels is right, and not necessarily what benefits the people. Or often in mythologies we have heard rishis and munis and even god(s)getting angry (probably due to ego hassles!) and unleashing destruction without thinking of consequences.

What does the junta ‘feel’ about it?

WTF………..Now babies lie too

2007-07-10T11:40:00.000+05:30

Babies learn to lie before they talk

Look at the baby below ……….

Can you ever imagine in your wildest dream that behind this angelic face is hiding a James Frey (a notorious liar)?? Well I knew it….We generally presume that it’s the grown-up lot which is the master of all lies. Students lie about their school performance, Guys/Gals secretly have multiple affairs, parents lie to each-other on plethora of issues. But we typically ignore this lot called “sweet little infants” who actually learn to deceive before they talk. In a more refined language "they are engaging in subtle manipulations of their own and others’ actions, which succeed in deceiving others at least temporarily."

What!!!!!!! You don’t quiet believe me?? Now see this …
There was the 11-month-old who, caught in the act of reaching for the forbidden soil of a house plant, quickly turned his outstretched hand into a wave, his mother reported, "as though he was saying, 'Oh, I wasn’t really going to touch the soil, mom, I was waving at you.'"
And if you thought seeing a baby crying is too heart-breaking. A reality check is Fake crying is the trick babies learn to get attention. In one case the mother thought it sounded 'put on', but watched from a crack in the door, and noticed that there were pauses in the crying which seemed rather like waiting to see if it worked.
Also, babies these days are using a more refined trick like Jedi Mind trick, a steady eye contact as a distraction technique. Another 11-month-old, upon being presented with toast she didn't want to eat, would hold eye contact with her mother while discreetly chucking the toast onto the floor.

Now you know how treacherous/deceitful babies are. No wonder why a kid was convicted with mass murder a few weeks back (In Jharkhand if I m right). New laws should be framed to convict such babies.

What if ...

2007-07-08T17:17:00.001+05:30

(Disclaimer - The incidents from my life mentioned below are purely fictional)

"It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world." - Chaos Theory (Quote stolen from Wikiquote!)

Based upon this was a movie"The Butterfly Effect". In that the main protagonist repeatedly goes into past and change one incident. That leads to a series of incidents - intended and unintended that alter the course of his life.

What if we were allowed to go to past and change one thing? Putting it in another way had one thing in past, how insignificant it might sound had been different, how differently we could have been placed as of now. Say, for instance, in my first day in college had I reached the bathroom couple of seconds earlier, I would have found it unoccupied, I wouldn't have been late in taking bath and hence reaching the class. That day I could have sat in the first bench of class and maybe the chain of events would have led me to perform well, and who knows I could have been a scientist. Or I could have found a seat next to a nice chick and would have stuck a nice conversation with her and had been dating her. Or I could have sat next to the would be so-called-'Don' of our batch,( and couldn't get the seat as I was few minutes late) and had become a notorious 'goonda' in the locality and maybe ended up being a criminal. Far-fetched it may seem, but who knows how various factors would have shaped up!

Maybe, that extra right answer in my HSC would have put me in a completely different place, and my life would have taken a completely different course; or had I not been given out wrongly in the school cricket match in class 6, things would have been completely different.

We might have, at some point of time read or pondered or heard someone ponder over questions like
What if Hitler had won the world war?
or What if India and Pakistan had not separated?
or what if XYZ government had come to power?
et al.

These are quite big "what ifs", even a seemingly insignificant "what if" could have altered the course of things, and things as of today would have been altogether different.

The Rent Trap

2007-07-06T23:54:00.000+05:30

Economic Rent

Definition: In economics, the cost commanded by a factor that is unique or inelastic in supply.

Example: The portion of rental income attributable to the land is often considered economic rent, since the land will exist no matter what the rental rate. In this context, economic rent carries a connotation of being "unearned" by its owner.

Today is bright and hopeful because, for once, the nations developing are growing faster than the nations already developed.

Will the developing world, then, ever 'catch up' with the developed world?

My personal intuition (Read: I am too lazy to actually hunt for numbers that would prove/disprove anything) would be No.

My reasoning (independent of data again, of course! :P..) is like this.
On a straight highway, there are two cars, N and S (Standing for North and South = Developed and Developing). N has had a head start and is 10 km ahead of S.
Speed of N= 100 kmph, which the driver increases by 3% after every hour.
Speed of S=10 kmph, which the driver increases by 9% after every hour.
Distance Now between N and S = 10 km

After 1 hour,
N is 110 km down the road.
S is 10 km down the road
Distance between N and S = 100 km

After 2 hours,
N is 110+103 = 213 km down the road
S is 10+10.9=20.9 km down the road
Distance between N and S = 192.1 km

After 3 hours,
N is 213+106.09=319.09 km down the road
S is 20.9+ 11.881 = 32.781 km down the road
Distance between N and S = 286. 309 km

As you can see, it is going to take a looooooong time for S to catch up with N.... :P

What makes this even more interesting is, N is actually asking S to agree to use new and expensive "eco" fuel, that will limit speed increases to less than 7%.

WTF Headlines of Today

2007-07-06T16:08:00.000+05:30

Guys!!!!!!!!!
Have a look at some of the WTF news headlines of today….

Govinda: "Salman has been there for me."
The WTF element here is not that I am doubting the sacred relationship of the two actors/jokers. But my whole point is why making such an offensive public statement especially when they know the vulnerability of our society. Many Boyfriends would die to hear the above statements from their Girlfriends. Think about the effect this statement might have on minds of our youth. Also Gaygiri is still banned in India so they have kind of broken the law. Thus, I urge whoever-should-do to convict the two actors for showing affection for each-other in public and trying to legitimize Gaygiri which might (as proponents of Indian culture claim) degrade our social values.

07/07/07: A perfect date with destiny?
First it was 06/06/06, which was considered ominous and now 07/07/07 which is being associated with perfection. As far as my memory says nothing ominous or anything even closer to that happened last year. Yet that didn’t deter some useless idle souls from claiming that something big awaits this 07/07/07.
But why should I worry?? According to numerology even my ruling number is 7, and if the article is correct a “date with destiny” awaits me. I am thinking about a kool, sexy girl approaching me for a date (hope it’s not too much).

Buried infant rises from grave
The story is about a family where 7 (This number 7 has really got something) girls were born and when the 8th girl was born the parents couldn’t take it anymore and buried the little one alive on the roadside. Monotonous as it may sound but 8 in a row is a bit too much, we find it difficult to keep one girl/GF, how can you expect that poor family to keep 8 girls?? But as destiny wished, a farmer saw a hand of the infant sticking out and she was rescued. A perfect plot for a scary/Funny/??? Ramsay movie.
On a serious note I condemn the crime committed by the parents and they should be punished. It’s disappointing to see that people are still living in prehistoric times and committing gravest of crimes to their near-ones. My concern is for the infant, who should she trust?? When your parents try to kill you I think you cannot trust anybody in this whole world……..

The Newest Kid..........

2007-07-06T14:50:00.000+05:30

Hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heylooooooo.........to everybody. I am privileged to be a part of “32” group. Not that I was never a part of this group before, I actually was one of the most ardent/loyal/credible (did it sound cliché??) member of this group right from the time it was conceived and founded by Rathi & “Sir” Myshkin. I am glad to see that the group has graduated from just an "idea” to “electronic version”. My heart-felt thanks to Nikesh PJ Rathi for giving me the opportunity to be an author on this forum. Also nice to see Sir (soon-to-be Dr.) Myshkin, putting in his valuable and profound insight on the forum in-spite of his busy schedule (that he always has). Though I caught him red-handed few weeks back roaming about karunamoyee in Salt Lake with our madam (Read our bhabhi). No offences made Myshki Sir. Also our ever-thin Raapchick is back in form, writing from Jungles of MP (Indore to be precise). His post shows the guy is still in learning mode and is expanding his vocabulary like ever-expanding universe. Way to go dude, but my fav one is BEWDA. By the way, why didn’t you include “Raapchick “ in yourlist??

I didn’t say those things because I really meant those. As I didn’t. I just said because yaar aise bolna acha lagta hai…..
Waise apun ka pranam MACT ke Bhai log ko……..

Attractiveness scale

2007-07-05T21:02:00.000+05:30

Guys, chk this out ... kisi to site se churayela maal hai ... dunno which one !!!!

Interesting insight into theory of gals !

Soomdee mein kat lo... raada ho gaya...

2007-07-05T18:01:00.000+05:30

These Bambaiya words are phenomenal!! I agree the list is a bit long, but believe me, each word is worth it!

Bhaiyon... tumhaare favorites kya hain??!

• Apun - Me or myself or oneself.
• Atrangi - Something strange or extraordinary.
• Akkha - (from Konkani akkhe meaning whole) Translates to "Whole" or "Complete" or "full" (denoting complete). Example: "Aaj maine akkha daaru ka botal khatam kar daala". Translates to "I finished a full bottle of alcohol today".
• Battery/Double battery/ḍhāpnyā - A person wearing prescription glasses. Battery also means flashlight.
• Bindaas- Cool, Without worries.
• Bhankas - Wasting time/Useless/Of little of no value. Usually used for wasting somebody's time with gibberish. E.g: Stop your Bhankas- I got work to do.
• Chappan tikli - One with lots of pimples on his/her face.
• Chikni or Barfi or Maal or Item - A good looking girl usually while eve-teasing like "kya item hai baap".
• Dhaasu - awesome.
• Full to - Complete e.g: "Film was Full to action." which means that the film was full of action.
• Gheun Taak - It's yours; take it. (Marathi)
• Haila or Aaila or Tujya Maila - literally means to your mother in Marathi. ('Haila!' is believed to be derived from the word 'Hai- Allah!'). Aaila is a Marathi word meaning "(to) your mother". It is an offensive word, but is not taken with the literal meaning. Mostly used as an exclamation rather than as an abuse.
• Jhakaas - Amazing, Awesome, Superb, Wonderful.
• Kalti- Get lost or go away.
• Kayko - Why? (from rustic Hindi kaahe ko? 'what for?')
• Khopcha - Means corner. Like - "Khopche me dun kya Kharcha Pani"
• Rapchik- awesome!.
• Tension - Although an English word, it is used excessively in bombay slang, for example, "eh, tujhe tension ho raha hai kya?"
• Bailya --(Bailya in Konkani means - of woman/ woman like) A guy with effeminate behaviour. usage: 'woh saala solid bailya maafik baat karta hain'
• Bakra- Literally meaning "a goat", used to denote a befooled person. "Bakra banaya usko." means "He was fooled"
• Bevada, Gutter, Tanki, Batli, JohnnyWalker - a drunkard.
• Bhaari- Literally means heavy in Hindi. However, it is used in Bambaiyya to refer to something as very nice or great, so as to say "Cool". For example, "Kya bhari website hai beedu".
• Chakka - eunuch
• Chirkut - literal meaning "mouse", can be used affectionately or derogatively
• Choo The one who is a weak link.
• Chikna - Literally "clean-shaven" or "smooth". Used usually to refer to a male new-comer or teenager, especially in a negative manner.
• Chimaat - A funny or weird looking guy.
• Chindi - small (As in chindi chor).
• Chuna lagana - Literally translated in Hindi , it means to whitewash a wall in Bambaiyya Hindi it means to "fool someone" like- "Bola tere ko ek baar sun mera, abhi laga ke gaya na tere ko chuna" (I told you once to listen to me , now see he's fooled you!)
• Chyayla - (from Marathi) an exclamation conveying frustration or happiness. It comes from the Marathi words 'Hya-cha aila'. Chyayla is not used in any derogatory sense.
• Dedh Shaana - smart-ass, smart-alec (Marathi)meaning one-and-a-half times as smart
• Dedh-dimaag - Literally "one and a half brains", in reference to an over-smart, dim-wit or stupid person.
• Dedh-foot or Dedh-futya - Literally means "one and a half foot". Usually refers to a short person. May also be a form of irreverent address to a kid.
• Dhakkan or Champak - Depending on context may mean "lid" or "stupid".
• Dimaag ka dahi/Dimaag ki maa bhen -(Dahi in Marathi means curds) Literally means making curd of the brain. It means to baffle, frustrate or irritate someone as in "Dimaag ka dahi mat bana" (Don't irritate me)
• Double Seat - Gay
• Dookaan - Literal meaning "shop" but in Mumbai the word in some sections of the society is considered equal to the buttocks of a person(Usage: Maar salay ki Dookaan pay laat maar)
• Fullmoon: bald person
• Fultoo - Too good or very cool, not to be confused with Faltoo which means useless or waste. Fultoo may also mean drunk depending on context.
• Ghantaa - Literally, it means A big bell. But in Bambaiya Hindi it means 'My Dick' and conveys the meaning, "No Ways...Thats not possible". For example if someone orders you to do something, say "Tujhe weekend pe office aana hoga (You will have to work on a weekend)", you can reply back saying "Ghantaa!".
• Ghochu - a fool
• Hata Saawan Ki Ghata- I don't care about it much!
• Jhagmag, Dhinchak - usually bright clothes
• Jhol - As in "Arre yaar, jhol ho gaya." Meaning there is a problem.
• Jholer - Someone who creates a problem(jhol).
• Kantalaa aa gaya - (Marathi + Hindi) (I) got bored
• Karjat-Kasara, Mahim-Matunga, Vasai-Virar - Based on the train routes this term refers to squint eyed people. "Ae Karjat-Kasara, idhar aa" (Hey Squint, come here!)
• Khajoor - "Dumb fellow"
• Khali pili - for no reason, as in, "khali pili kyon dimak ki maa bhen ek karela hai", literally, why are you screwing my mind for no reason.
• Kharcha-paani - Literally it means 'expense-water' and is an idiom for "stipend, pocket-money, bribe or (small) payment". In Mumbai it may also refer to beating up somebody. So depending on context, "kharcha-paani deu kya?" may mean "Do you want me/us to beat you up?" instead of "Do you want me/us to give you some money?". Conversely a person asking for a bribe (or one belonging to the lowest strata when asking for some money) will say "thoda kharcha-paani do" (Give me some money).
• Khoka - "Refers to 1 crore (10 million) rupees"
• Khopchaa - "Corner"
• Khopdi - It means 'coconut', is used for 'head', 'fool'. eg. "Mera khopdi sarka mat" (don't irritate me) or "Abe khopdi, tere baap ne bhi aise kabhi kiya tha kya?" (You idiot, did your father ever do a thing like that?)
• Kaanpatti - Area around the ear and cheek. Also means a hard slap; "Kaanpatti main deu kya?", "Ay shaane phootle nahin toh kaanpatti main bajayega"
• Kundi - Ass. "kundi chuun lo" means "kiss my ass" ... geez I always thot it was "latch", eg. "kundi lagaa de yaar zara..."
• Laafa or Chamaat - One Tight Slap
• Lafda - Means "Trouble", "Fight", "Riot". Similar to Locha. When you say, "Apun ko lafda nahi chahiye", it means, "I don't want any trouble" or "I don't want any fights".
• Locha - Means trouble or problem or in a fix. "Main bola na is loche main mat pad"
• Mamu - A Stupid Person.
• Patli gali - Escape route, or back alley. "chal chal patli gali se kat le"
• Peti - "Refers to 1 lakh (100 thousand) rupees"
• Popat - Literally it means a Parrot in Marathi. But when you say "Tera popat ho gaya", you actually mean "You got fooled". You can also call someone a "Popat" which in other words is a "Moron".
• Raada - In other words, "Fight". "Abe, raada ho gaya" means "Oi, a fight has started".
• Rampaat - In excess, heavy; "Arey kya rampaat gardi hai boss!"
• Rapchandus - same as rapchik anew version
• Rappaak - Tight slap. "Ey doon kyaa kaan ke neechey rappaak?" transliterates to "Should I give you a tight slap under your ear?"
• Rokda - Cash
• Shaan Patti - Shaan patti means if some one is creating unneccesory trouble than we can say " aye shaan patti nahi karneka kya"
• Saahi - Saahi means Correct. Also used for awesome. e.g." Mein Saahi bolta hai." means "I am saying correct", "kya saahi gadi hai !" means "What an awesome car !"
• Shahne - smart guy (used mostly sarcastically)
• Shendi -(from Marathi/ Konkani) Is a strand of hair in marathi that sticks out, or has been tied. Figuratively means "fooled". shendi laita (konkani phrase- (s/he)fools)Usage: (1)"Mereko SHENDI lagaya usne" - "I've been fooled by him." (2)"Shendi lagaake nikal ja" - "Fool him/her and abscond."
• Soomdee - "Quietly" or "Secretly". When someone says, "Soomdee me vaat le" he/she actually means "Leave this place quietly or secretly without anyone knowing about it also sometimes referred as 'soomdee mein kumdeee ho jaaa '".
• Talli - Drunk.
• Vaat lag gayi - Means I am in trouble
• Yeda ban ke peda kha - Roughly translates to "act dumb and eat the whole cake".
• Goti Jaam - Panic stricken/Scared.
• Maa Ki Aankh - Big trouble.
• Chaman Chotli - Moron.
• Sathkela - Mad. wo sathkela hai means "that person is mad".
• Hilaa daalaa - Surprised, shaken, taken aback tune hilaa daalaa yaar means "you surprised me friend". (from Konkani phrase)
• Maska - flatter. Maska means butter in Marathi/ Konkani. maska kyon mar raha hai means "why are u flattering me" (maskhaa is from Persian.)

All flicked from http://www.answers.com/topic/bambaiya-hindi

Types of Irritating Things

2007-07-05T17:24:00.001+05:30

Right. Following up with my mindbogglingly useless classification of all things funny, I present here my irritatingly incomplete list of types of irritating things. Of course, Irritants are a subjective lot, so feel free to disagree with and get irritated by my pointed refusal to enter myself, in whole, as part of the list (Tempting as it seems, especially to show off my self deprecating sense of humour, and my proud humility).

Breakdowns in the Law of Causality
Patently unfair is when life decides to play around with the rules of the game mid-way through. The normal linkage is Cause--> Effect. E.g: Hard Work-->Success
The irritating linkage is Slimy Weasel-like Rascal buttering up the boss--> Winning the promotion.
Even this has some semblance of reason to it. At least, the weasel had the skill and the cunning to deserve success.
The really irritating linkage is Dumb Moron finds lottery ticket in rubbish -->Wins lottery
or some such.

Subjectiveness
I ask someone about something: "Is this the right thing to do, what do think?"
Fools will advise me confidently "Yes" or "No" . Fair enough.
Wise men will say, "It depends....on many things", "Its contextual, and subjective".
Right, I didn't know that, thanks. Remind me to ask you again when I have made up my mind.

Mindless Optimism
This should actually be at the very top of the list. People who are in the direst of straits, but will persist in deluding themselves that things are somehow hunkydory. Or even worse, people who will say randomly positive things like "Smile. It's free and uses hundreds of less muscles than a frown". Right, so does a clenched fist and a well-directed punch. You may say, what's wrong with optimism? Much better to go through whatever life you have with a smile on your face and a song in your heart than mooch around, bringing everybody down. I say, no, it's not better at all. I'd rather you mooched around, and were a grumpy old git. So that I could piss you off even more by saying things like "Smile. It's free and uses hundreds of less muscles than a frown".

Heroism
This is a rather strange one, at first sight. Heroes are good, you'll say. They help save the world from bad guys. They help old ladies cross the street and even save kittens trapped in perilously short trees.
But heroism in general is a very irritating philosophy. What right have you to selflessly and for no good reason that anyone can think of, go and risk your life to save other people's (or kitten's) lives? It completely messes up the calcutations for Total World Domination of all good, honest supervillains. Its just not fair.

Types of Funny Things

2007-07-05T00:44:00.000+05:30

Humour is a funny thing, they say - you can't define it, and you never know where it comes from. Except, of course, that you do. Here's my classification of all things that lead to a laugh.

Types of humour

Slapstick: Children toppling over. Old people falling over. Into ditches. Into Swimming Pools. Over Banana Peels. With the Benny Hill music playing, preferably.

Coarse: Forcing obscene/vulgar language and visuals upon otherwise decent situations. Depends on shock value, on surprise, sometimes on outrage of victim.

Larry David and Seinfeld humour : Making fun of everyday life things with obtuse observations. You laugh because you never thought of that and these tremendously astute, different thinking, insensitive but eccentric people did. Sometime you laugh because there are others laughing in the background of the reel. I get it.

Sarcasm and Irony: Doing and saying the opposite of what you mean. Huh. Not funny.

Alien humour : The "Russel Peters" brand of humour - Using ethnicity and race, and accents and caricatures. Differences in behavior and thought of people are funny! Especially when repeated over and over and over....

...or pseudo intellectual humour, which consists of classifying humour and writing pagefuls about it.

Richard Dawkins and The God Delusion

2007-07-03T23:22:00.000+05:30

I've always been intrigued by the God question, but the whole debate about the existence of God had seemed rather pointless to me after a while, with the same arguments repeated over and over again, culminating always in an uneasy stalemate. The debate, however, is as entertaining as debates can get - especially if you like to play the devil's advocate. It isn't possible to argue logically with 'true' believers, while 'enlightened' non-believers never stop arguing their case, even against a brick wall (which is entertaining enough, in its own way, for the casual observer). The long and short of it (why do they say 'the long and short' when they just mean 'the short' anyway? And why do they use 'they' when they should use 'we'?Aaaarg!) is that the Darwinian Atheists will initially patiently, then eventually in increasing 'tear out my hair' exasperation try to explain the elegance of the evolutionary theory of creation to the obstinate Creationists, who usually counter vociferously with the "complexity needs a designer" argument, or failing that, attack Science itself as being an act of faith.
Personally, I'd like to think of myself as an agnostic and think that, even if (perhaps, especially if!) an omniscient God does exist, then my belief, or non-belief in Him should not, theoretically,matter at all in the grand scheme of things. In fact, why am I saying "Him"? Why not "Her"? Or "it"? When even our language cannot fix a label to __, how do we expect our thoughts to understand __? And then, am I supposed to fight and argue and kill and die for things like where this nameless, undescribable, ununderstandable entity was 'born' or 'died'?
The most useful approach for an agnostic would be, to not get bogged up in the argument of existence or non-existence of God, but rather ask the question "Does it benefit humanity as a whole to believe?". I suspect the answer to that would be more complex that a cursory Yes or No. Historical evidence of religious wars and percecution would suggest quite emphatically that it definetely does NOT benefit humanity to believe in more than one God... However, beharioral scientists would suggest that people need a way to reduce uncertainty in their lives, and some would go even go so far as to say that civilization would have collapsed had it not been for the moderating influence of religion, and the 'morality' it enforces.

So, by those arguments, I would go along with believing in one God (any one!), for utilitarian purposes, if the rest of humanity can reach a consensus on that one God. Since it clearly cannot, and since clearly believing in one of many conflicting ones would (as history suggests) make me either part of the killers or part of the killed, it seems I am resigned to being an Atheist after all. Richard Dawkins (currently the world's best selling Atheist!) puts it like this - Technically all atheists should be agnostics, for we can't actually 'disprove' that something exists. In that sense, of course, I am as agnostic about God as about fairies, or goblins or flying pigs!
Watch these very interesting documentaries for more substantiative viewpoints :

The God Delusion
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/richard+dawkins/video/x1a3gf_lillusione-di-dio-13-richard-dawkin
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/richard+dawkins/video/x1a2m1_lillusione-di-dio-23-richard-dawkin
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/richard+dawkins/video/x1a088_lillusione-di-dio-33-richard-dawkin

The Virus of Faith
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/richard+dawkins/video/x18jrc_il-virus-della-fede-13richard-dawki
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/richard+dawkins/video/x18jfw_il-virus-della-fede-23richard-dawki
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/richard+dawkins/video/x18fjg_il-virus-della-fede-33richard-dawki

What would be really interesting, is if similar logical and reasonable arguments can be made for the other side of the fence. Then we (I!!!) would really be stuck.

The moviee - The real luv story

2007-06-30T20:14:00.000+05:30

Love him or hate him. You just can’t ignore him. That has been the case of our music director turned singer turned pop-star turned actor Himesh Reshammiya. So, when his debut movie Aap ka Surroor (based upon one of his music albums with same name) released, it was bound to be in the news. Last Friday a group of nearly 15-20 people, including me went to catch this magnum opus. The promos offered an ample scope for masala in the movie, and that was the main reason for going to see it, rather than catching some good cinema! We all decided to wear caps to PVR, but only a handful followed the dress code. My cap coupled with unshaven looks made me appear like a true Himesh fan, and I felt proud of it, especially when I was about to watch a probably classic!

The entry of the hero with a song As-salaam-walaikum generated a tremendous applause. He sang each and every song in the movie, apart from chanting Gayatri mantra and Dard e Dil from Karz. Nearly every dialogue he said generated the applause. Many a times the applause was preceded by screams of “Taaliyan” and we all obliged. The dialogues generated applause, the music did, the fight sequences did, and the cameraman did (esp. when he focused on Himesh’s cap!). Few sequences stand apart in the movie. One of them is the fight sequence towards the climax of the movies where 3 autos (in Germany!) fight the German cars which also included the likes of BMWs! And the songs had us joining the chorus, and at times dancing to tunes (though we were firmly seated in our seats even while dancing).

This was one of the movies where someone sharing the screen with Mallika sherawat managed to get more applause than Mallika. The fight sequences were as bizarre as possible. The love story was as clichéd as possible. There were scenes where Himesh was beaten badly, but he never compromised with his cap. Then there was an awesome fight sequence in the roads of Germany, and the confessions of the villain, which was aired live on TV … and the heroine watched it from her ‘shaadi ka mandap’! . But the scene that stands out was the one in the end where our hero takes out his cap. That was the scene of the movie, it seemed and stood a class apart (maybe in the league of “kitne aadmi the” in Sholay!). And suddenly after that there was Mehbooba Mehbooba track from Sholay, and the movie ended! We came out of the cinema hall with some great memories and a pain in hands resulting from excessive applauses. And for us, those two and a half hours were total paisa wasool.

While reading this, it might seem that there was nothing great in the movie. But see the movie and experience the magic. And, as I say … It is often quite entertaining to watch a complete nonsensical potboiler like this one, with a frame of mind tailor made to watch an out and out stupidish movie like Aap Ka Surroor. Caps off to you … Himesh!

Fight for Glory at Wimbledon

2007-06-26T11:14:00.000+05:30

Who is tennis player of the centruy? Current generation of tennis viewers have only one name in every corner of their mind and it is none other than unassailable Roger. Yesteday, I came across a statastics, which many of us may not know. Bjron Brog won almost 90% of his matches in Grandslam tournment. The feat is unmatched by any other player in the history of the game. He won all of his 11 grandslams before retiring at the age of 26yrs.

Now, question for the pundits is who is greatest between them????

a Thought

2007-06-26T08:18:00.000+05:30

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks and then starting with the first one" - Mark Twain